#13: Revise gym water bottle policy

Completely clear bottles are unnecessary; the Collins Fitness Center should allow a greater variety of water bottles inside.

Of all the areas where TU could stand to see some improvement, I think we all know that the single most important one is the water bottle policy in the Collins Fitness Center. For those who don’t know what it is and want to hop on the righteous indignation bandwagon, the gym requires that “water bottles must be plastic, have a lid, and clear in color and composition.”

To put it bluntly, this is stupid. Next time you head over to shoot some hoops or curl in the squat rack, look at how many water bottles have been confiscated by the front desk. Chances are, you’ll see around a dozen that have been taken from patrons who just wanted to have ready access to hydration without having to walk over to the water fountain.

What exactly is the justification for not allowing perfectly clear plastic bottles? My guess is so that they can be 100 percent sure that people are only bringing water into the gym, but why should that be a big deal? Most people don’t feel like throwing back a beer in the middle of their workout, so I’ll assume that the Collins staff is more concerned about energy drinks, which would be — gasp! — sticky if they spilled on the equipment. A valid concern, except that the vast majority of college students and at least 51 percent of professors are capable of taking a sip from bottles without dribbling all over themselves like a three-year-old.

Also, in the off chance of a spill, the staff could always, you know, clean it up. That seems like it would take about three seconds. Gyms in the real world are somehow able to overcome this problem all the time; I’m sure the bright minds of TU will be able to figure it out.

But if the fitness center is going to insist on water only, then for the sake of my sanity, they at least have to amend the policy and allow full-color translucent bottles. I own a green plastic Rubbermaid bottle that allows you to see the color of the liquid inside with perfect clarity. And yet whenever I make the crucial mistake of forgetting to hide the bottle in my backpack when I check in, it’s been snatched away from me by a student employee who seems as annoyed by the rule as I am. Just throw me this one little bone, Collins decision-makers — I promise it’s not vodka in there.

Post Author: Justin Guglielmetti