Curry needs a new tagline: “Whoa”
Do you remember when “The Matrix” first came out and a bunch of conspiracy theorists began saying that the Matrix was real and the movie was just the filmmakers way of letting everyone know about it? I mean, I was three when it came out so I have no idea if this happened, but it seems like something that would.
Anyway, I’m sure those people are having a field day with Stephen Curry this season, especially after his showdown with the Thunder last week where he hit twelve three pointers including a 35 foot game winner with a timeout left! Who does that?? Is there any other explanation besides this world being a computer simulation and Steph being the One? I’ve heard it said that he’s playing like a character in a video game with their skill sliders maxed out to 100 but even that doesn’t begin to describe his greatness; plug in NBA 2K16 and see if you can hit 67-percent of your shots from 28 feet out (yes that’s a real statistic).
You can’t do it! I just hope that for the sake of basketball Curry finishes out his incredible career before moving on to our machine overlords.
Get more out of baseball this year
It’s March, the weather is beginning to warm up, and everywhere you look Spring Fever is in the air. You know what that means…it’s almost fantasy baseball season! In addition to, you know, actual baseball. I know, I know, fantasy baseball isn’t as popular as it’s football counterpart, but that doesn’t mean it’s not awesome!
In some ways I think it can actually be a lot more fun because of how much more analytical and strategy-based it tends to be. You know that one guy who always autodrafts his team and ends up with Aaron Rodgers, Antonio Brown, and Rob Gronkowski? Yeah, there’s none of that nonsense in fantasy baseball, the most skilled players (i.e. me) tend to win out in the end.
And that sense of accomplishment when you emerge victorious over the grueling and mentally exhausting 162-game schedule is just so much more satisfying than a fantasy football win, trust me. This year, if you feel like finally hopping on the bandwagon and playing the Cadillac of fantasy sports,
I would recommend proven offensive performers like Mike Trout, Paul Goldschmidt, and Bryce Harper early on and leaving the pitching and “breakout stars” to the sorry saps who don’t know what they’re doing. Unless you are in my league, in which case do the exact opposite.
We take the NBA’s players for granted
A hush fell over the crowd as Lin Jingyuan, college student and aspiring professional basketball player, took the ball at halfcourt in the Chinese Basketball Association’s annual dunk contest. Before him, five men stood in the lane forming a tight line over which Lin would presumably jump. He started his run and thousands of spectators braced themselves to witness something utterly spectacular. What happened was…well…it wasn’t spectacular but at least it was memorable!
Lin failed to clear the first man in the line, flying crotch first into the back of the poor guy’s head and desperately flinging the ball towards the hoop as he collapsed in a heap to the court.
Now compare that with the NBA’s slam dunk contest from All-Star Weekend in which we witnessed windmills from the free throw line and an under the legs dunk that would have looked at home in a high jumping competition. It sure is great to be a basketball fan in America.