If TU implements these new changes, this could be you two days sooner. graphic by Conner Maggio

#3: Decrease semester length by removing reading days

Procrastinate no more by killing dead days and taking finals immediately.

Everyone knows about the Tuesday and Wednesday after the last day of classes. Some call them “reading days,” others “dead days,” but everyone knows them as a time to mess around, hang out with friends and procrastinate, procrastinate, procrastinate. No one really does work, and there are so many events going on (look for dogs in Fisher South this semester).

Since these days are obviously not used for their stated purpose, I think that we should just get rid of them. Honestly, it would mean that finals are over sooner and we get a longer break. Who wants to to be in school any longer than they have to be? Plus, the earlier we get out, the cheaper the flights to the Caribbean are, and going to the beach should always be as cheap as possible.

Professors seem to agree. Tenured mechanical engineering professor John Bingle said, “Look, I only have to be here as long as the university tells me to, and this way, I don’t have to deal with students’ constant whining any longer. It’s not like I make my finals new each year anyway, so it’s just more time for the university email that I never check to get spammed.”

Also, if we move finals up, maybe professors would actually put in grades before graduation so people know if they can actually walk (or so you can harass your professor to round that 69 up to an 80). This will prevent some of those emails that are proofread by a dozen people to make sure they’ve perfected their sweetalking tone to not seem too desperate. Instead, you can actually go and beg for your grade in person.

When I spoke with some members of the community about the possibility of an omission of reading days, they were all for it. Esteemed alumnus Barry Princewater III said, “I don’t understand how these reading days work. Why would lazy millennials need days to study. It’s not like they actually do anything anyway. A waste of money to keep the university open longer.”

Honestly, when you consider all the fabulous benefits of omitting that pesky Tuesday and Wednesday, why would you want reading days? Who needs those useless 48 hours when we could have a longer summer and winter break? Not TU, that’s for sure!

Post Author: Hannah Robbins