Ask Abby

I was in a long term relationship that ended badly and I’m nervous about running into my ex on campus. I don’t want another confrontation, but I also want to be able to walk into ACAC at peak hours without feeling nervous. What should I do?

Tired of Yelling

I’m sorry to hear that you had, and are apparently still going through, a rough break up. Here’s the thing though, this is a very small campus and it’s going to be hard to avoid seeing your ex. If the two of you really can’t avoid fighting, it’s probably a good thing that you broke up.
Here’s the simple solution: pretend your ex isn’t there. I know that is easier said than done, but I’m serious. Look the other way, don’t speak to your ex, and do not send a text to let them know you saw them. If they approach you, make an excuse for a quick get away. If they text you, don’t text back.
The question you need to ask yourself is this: why can’t the two of you avoid a fight? Was the relationship really that toxic? Is one of you still hung up on the other? I also urge you to think about who is starting the argument. If your ex is the one starting the argument, then RUN AWAY. But if it’s you…then you seriously need to figure out what it is that you can’t let go.
I’m saying all this assuming that neither of you did anything particularly awful and that there are no children or shared living spaces involved here. If you are in this type of situation, then I strongly suggest that you, and your ex, seek the advice of a counselor. Even if you aren’t in this type of situation, a counselor may be able to help you get over your fear of seeing your ex and work through all of those unresolved issues from the breakup.

Freshman year I declared as a biology and pre-med student, but over the summer I realized how much I really don’t want to be a doctor. Now I’m an undecided sophomore and all my friends are talking about how much they’re loving their classes and I’m back to taking block courses and trying to figure out what I want to do. Any advice?

Majorly Stressed

Good for you! It’s really tough to admit that your heart just isn’t in the thing you’ve already committed so much time to. There is absolutely nothing wrong with changing your mind about your major. Believe it or not, there are seniors that have done it. Lucky for you, you’re only a sophomore and you have plenty of time to find your passion.
My advice to you is to think about the kinds of things that make you happy. What’s the most rewarding thing you’ve ever done and how can you incorporate that into your life? What are you really good at? If you have a knack for something, don’t ignore it, take advantage of it!
Try out some campus jobs or volunteer work that interest you. Enroll in some classes that are potential major material. You might even contact some professors from departments that interest you just to see what those majors might be like. You can also contact career services and see what sort of help they can offer.
In the meantime, enjoy being in college! Join some campus orgs, go to events, and try all of the things you’ve always wanted to try. Don’t let stress keep you from experiencing all the things you’ll regret missing out on once you’re a senior.

My major’s department is very small, and I’ve had the same professor three times now for different classes, but I really slacked off the past year. I’m stuck taking his classes pretty much every semester until I graduate, but I’m pretty sure he doesn’t like me since I slacked off so much last year. How do I convince this professor that I’m ready to work hard and that I know I messed up in the past?

Ready To Turn Over A New Leaf

Don’t beat yourself up too much, I think slacking is a much more popular thing to do than any of us care to admit. We all pretend that we have our life together all the time, even if we’re secretly ignoring one of our classes.
If you’re really ready to turn over that new leaf and do your absolute best, then I think all of us college students should take a page out of your book. Don’t stress about convincing the professor that you’re going to work hard this semester, just do it! Your professor will see that your work ethic has improved simply by the quality of assignments and exams you hand in.
If you find yourself struggling with the material and feel yourself starting to slack again, find a study buddy or start visiting your professor’s office hours regularly. I’m pretty sure that professors actually like when we visit them, or they at least claim to. I’ve found that the more you communicate with a professor about how you’re doing, the more willing the professor will be to help you out. Don’t be shy, just be honest and ask for help if you need it. I’m sure your professor will see how much work you put in this year. I for one am rooting for you to have your best semester yet!

Post Author: Anonymous