Using the magic of musical snobbery, one local man was able to cure his superiority complex. A small miracle occurred last week when local TU douche-canoe Chaz Cardwick was transformed into a lovable, accepting guy due to one small act. Cardwick is known for being “knowledgeable about music” or, in layman’s terms, he only likes […]
Nobel Prizes The 2017 Nobel prize recipients were announced October 3. The physics, chemistry and physiology or medicine recipients are as follows: Physics: Rainer Weiss, Barry C. Barish and Kip S, Thorne “for decisive contributions to the LIGO detector and the observation of gravitational waves.” Chemistry: Jacques Dubochet, Joachim Frank and Richard Henderson “for developing […]
A TU student ruined his friend’s party by playing dad-rock for 45 minutes.
After the recent eggings of campus buildings, the State-Run Media tracked down the culprit for an interview.
Phone companies report record high calls to moms from campus as freshmen realize they don’t know how to do laundry.
A local band of heroes finds out which alcohol mixes best with pumpkin spice lattes, for your consumer convenience.
Iconic punk band Blink-182 still just as exciting even without Tom DeLonge on vocals.
Hello, and welcome back students, faculty and any other slubs that read our prestigious publication. I hope you all had a tolerable summer and that none of your loved ones got disappeared. Alas, it is my morbid duty to inform the campus of the unfortunate end of the State-Run Media’s former Head Propagandist, Sam Chott. […]