Lil Xan will be performing at Springfest this year, likely playing tracks from “Total Xanarchy.” courtesy Columbia Records

Lil Xan worst part of “Total Xanarchy”

Lil Xan’s repetitive lyrics and lack of technique tank an otherwise quality album. First off, I want to make it extremely, undeniably clear that this review reflects only my own personal opinions about Lil Xan’s new studio album “Total Xanarchy,” with exclusion to any other person’s or institution’s opinions and my own opinions of any […]

Satire has shaped the way I view news

I’ve never really felt like my time here at The Collegian has been a job. While yes, I do get paid for it, and yes Kayleigh would have yelled at me if I ever decided not to do my work, I rarely felt coerced into working either from the prospect of money, or the fear […]

Letter from the Propagandist

Dear readers, Something is amiss. No, I’m not talking about the threat of nuclear war, or that personal privacy is no longer viable, or that Tristan cheated on Khloe. I’m talking about myself and my position. As I’m sure you all know, in my time as Head Propagandist of the glorious “State-Run Media,” I have […]

CoolMath.com corrupted

After a quiet but devious acquisition by Electronic Arts, CoolMath.com has fallen from their pedestal of internet purity. It’s 2005. You’re in the 4th grade and just about to start computer class. The teacher, having already made you take “Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing” and taught you how to use Microsoft Word and Excel, has exhausted […]

Improve TU #27: Do SOMETHING to make game day parking easier

Any student on campus with a car knows the struggle of parking on a big game day. There are a number of situations which may cause a student to find themselves being prohibited from parking in the lot for which they paid money. Lots that aren’t reserved on game days fill up quickly with exiled […]

#1: Get rid of The Collegian

The Collegian is a complete rag that needs to be driven off of this prestigious campus. First off, The Collegian actually pays their writers with real money. What a bunch of entitled little pricks. They think they deserve monetary reimbursement for their using their time and talents to produce written content? What chumps. Here at […]

#3: Don’t let students park in the lots they paid for … ever

TU is already doing an amazing job of making student parking more complicated than it needs to be, but with some careful planning, all student vehicles could be off campus by 2021. Listen, the University of Tulsa, I see you out there. I gotta say, I really like what you’re doing. Not letting students park […]

Trump bans “here’s how Bernie can still win” memes

In the wake of his divisive executive order, Trump himself could face jail time for making Bernie memes. “I’m not sure if I’m happy or infuriated,” said former Senator, First Lady and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. “Like, it’s definitely a violation of freedom of speech, but also it validates my personal feelings of pain […]

Mencher’s misused Kermit meme from the email. Graphic by Madeline Woods

Student sends school-wide email promoting his SoundCloud

Those who clicked the link said that Carson Mencher’s SoundCloud wasn’t even good. “This is a violation of the sacred trust between SA and students, or something like that,” said junior Maddy Garfunkel in reference to last week’s schoolwide email sent by senior SA member Carson Mencher. The email in question was sent Monday morning […]

Courtesy University of Tulsa

Tandy shutdown inconvenience

Tulsa’s supercomputing center closed its doors, leaving many students and teachers searching for an alternative. Over winter break, many TU students and faculty received an email informing them that the Tandy Supercomputing Center (TSC) would soon be shutting down. TSC operated the Tandy, a 1600-core supercomputer available for private, commercial and academic use. TSC was […]