Author: Anna Johns

Guess what? I’m doing it, and you can’t stop me! What are you going to do? Pry the Phantom of the Opera off my shoulders and make him stop giving me a deep tissue body massage? You can’t! His hands are lotioned! For a year, I have begged and pleaded with my so-called benevolent fellow […]

At this point in the semester, things usually seem eerily quiet as the storm of finals draws nearer. Recently, however, the presence of ominous chalk messages reveals the awakening of something dark. Using chalk to advertise for club meetings has long been the norm for TU groups. A walk from Dietler Commons to the Student […]

With finals season approaching, it’s best to know what petty actions you can take. American elected officials are ideally supposed to listen to their constituents’ voices and reflect their public’s political desires. In any rudimentary government class, a citizen is taught to directly contact their representatives and congresspeople to share their positions on legislation; it […]

Yes, you read correctly. Your mother will headline this year’s Springfest. Springfest is an incredibly important annual tradition on TU campus as the event is usually well-attended and well-received—and it’s the only time that students actually pay any attention to whatever Student Association does. Feeling the pressure for this year’s festival, SA tirelessly deliberated and […]

TU surprised students and faculty with changing the center of this usually invisible department, and the consequences of this decision went as expected. During the recent English and Creative Writing Department’s Town Hall, faculty confirmed that the department will soon move out of Zink Hall. Like Oxley College of Health Sciences, the English and Creative […]

Realizing the True Commitment controversy occurred almost three years ago, TU senior enters a state of panic over how quickly their college years have passed. During the Wednesday Student Union lunch rush, senior P.J. Trachtenberg experienced an existential crisis when he chatted with a group of friends and offhandedly referenced True Commitment — only to […]

Sent from a past we cannot conceptualize, this virile warrior seeks a fertile wench with whom he can birth powerful sons. Could you be the one? When Pat Case unlocked its doors for hungry students, the undergraduates were shocked to find a grizzled man wearing chainmail with a sword plunged into his sheath. His face-covering […]

It’s hard to know what to think about the Ukraine-Russia crisis, but don’t worry. The guy in your class whose whole deal is to banter with the professor is ready to dish out his thoughts on the invasion. With the ongoing invasion of Ukraine, global fear can be felt more than ever. Uncertainties and anxieties […]

You get your fix, and I get mine. Mind your business. A heartwarming tradition of the University of Tulsa is the care given to the campus cats. Those little scamps can be found dashing from bush to bush, determined by hell or high water to avoid any of us unworthy peons. Still, cat lovers and […]