If TU implements these new changes, this could be you two days sooner. graphic by Conner Maggio

#3: Decrease semester length by removing reading days

Procrastinate no more by killing dead days and taking finals immediately. Everyone knows about the Tuesday and Wednesday after the last day of classes. Some call them “reading days,” others “dead days,” but everyone knows them as a time to mess around, hang out with friends and procrastinate, procrastinate, procrastinate. No one really does work, […]

The new prison motif comes with its own bodyguard: Officer Goldie. graphic by Conner Maggio

#6: A plea to our construction overlords

Improve TU by keeping the aesthetically pleasing, prison-like pits around campus forever As anyone who has considered walking by frat row knows, there’s been construction by the Mabee Gym in the recent past. While some might say it’s a weird eyesore (honestly, where is their sense of style?), those of us with proper fashion training […]

Students in drag racing past McFarlin Library in the most fashionable protest on campus. graphic by Conner Maggio

Drag race protest tries to sway campus minds

After a controversial rule outlawed drag racing and engine revving, people switched to a new form of protest. Let’s face it — everyone on campus knew it was coming. Maybe no one was expecting this kind of drag race, but with all the frustration on campus, something was bound to happen. It all started when […]

DaQuan Jeffries goes up for a layup. courtesy Oklahoma Eagle

Tulsa triumphs against Green Wave

TU basketball journalist Hannah Robbins discusses the Golden Hurricane’s come-from behind victory over Tulane. Tulsa managed to bounce back from their tough loss against Temple with a comeback win against Tulane on Thursday after a slow first half. Martins Igbanu and Curran Scott led the Golden Hurricane with 19 points each. Rounding out the high-scorers, […]

The last movie for Disney is expected to be a live action “Bambi” that features furries because of budget cuts. graphic by Conner Maggio

Disney Studios runs out of live actions and remakes, bankrupts

Disney’s new motto: original new ideas, who dat? I should have seen it coming. As evidenced by the new live action “Mulan,” “Aladdin” and “Dumbo” movies, to “Toy Story 4” and “Frozen 2,” Disney has run out of new ideas. While there are still a few more animated movies they could make into live-action films […]

Sterling Taplin drives through Wichita State defenders. courtesy Tulsa Hurricane

TU falters against Wichita State at home

Basketball journalist Hannah Robbins discusses Tulsa’s struggle to handle Wichita State’s offense on Wednesday night. Tulsa failed to improve on their three-game winning streak in their home game Wednesday against Wichita State. Only two members of the Golden Hurricane scored in double digits, with Martins Igbanu leading the way with 17 points and DaQuan Jeffries […]

Horny Siri has turned to suggesting some questionable sightseeing destinations. graphic by Conner Maggio

Siri 2.0: she’s back and thirstier than ever before

After years of sexual comments exchanged over iPhones, the AI finally adapted. For me, it started with a simple autocorrect. I was writing about how much I loved ducks when suddenly I was talking about how much I loved fucks. It was a bizarre moment, sure, but maybe my phone had finally figured out that […]

Woody Nelson playing a benefit concert for the weed cause during Springfest. graphic by Conner Maggio

Trailblazing Clancy’s New Green Deal

The administration is working toward floating its own New Green Deal, and it’s a bit smokey. There have been whisperings on campus about a new policy. President Clancy and the rest of the Board of Trustees have been slowly preparing everyone. They’ve been gaining support, having backroom dealings with deans and shaking more than a […]

Hanyu falls on the ice, suffering another injury. courtesy The Japan Times

Why so many figure skaters compete injured

Figure skating expert Hannah Robbins argues that the long-term consequences of top skaters performing injured are not worth the short-term rewards. Yuzuru Hanyu. Shoma Uno. Evgenia Medvedeva. Three world champion figure skaters who have skated injured in the past year. Instead of taking the time to rest their bodies and heal, they continued to compete, […]