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  • Kyle Garrison

Kyle Garrison

38 posts
Farewell letter: Kyle Garrison
Posted in News

Farewell letter: Kyle Garrison

on 17 April 2023

Well, it happened. The woke mob finally got me. Has cancel-culture gone too far? [Omit, rhetorical question – Zach]. I…

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Taylor Swift watches “21 Jump Street,” becomes antisemite
Posted in Satire State-Run

Taylor Swift watches “21 Jump Street,” becomes antisemite

on 17 April 2023

Swift rebukes West’s response to Jonah Hill’s performance. 12-time Grammy-winning feminist icon, blue-eyed and blonde-haired legend Taylor Swift took a…

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TU headhunts Dick Cheney to lead new hunting department
Posted in Satire State-Run

TU headhunts Dick Cheney to lead new hunting department

on 17 April 2023

Is the former vice president in the sights for TU’s scouting squad? Tulsa OK – Looking to innovate in fields…

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Point Counterpoint: Do not do your homework
Posted in Satire State-Run

Point Counterpoint: Do not do your homework

on 10 April 2023

The kingly duo that rules The Collegian and the political science department answers the question plaguing colleges everywhere. Point (Kyle):…

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How I, our head satirist, have fared in my fight against admin
Posted in Satire State-Run

How I, our head satirist, have fared in my fight against admin

on 3 April 2023

TU vs Kyle, the saga. Let us look back at our storied history of conflict. I know we have had…

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The Instagram ally’s manifesto
Posted in Satire State-Run

The Instagram ally’s manifesto

on 27 March 202326 March 2023

As a male feminist, I know all the lyrics to “Put Your Records On” I am writing this to tell…

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Why I am pro recreational marijuana
Posted in Satire State-Run

Why I am pro recreational marijuana

on 6 March 2023

Here are the top ten reasons to make weed legal on Tuesday, March 7. Visit https://okvoterportal.okelections.us/ to locate your polling…

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Goldie spotted with younger lab?
Posted in Satire

Goldie spotted with younger lab?

on 20 February 202319 February 2023

Goldie has a new sugar baby in a lab half her age! Leonardo Dicaprio who? Canine ambassador or COUGAR ambassador?…

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Brad Carson breaks Guinness World Record for most stripes on suit
Posted in Satire State-Run

Brad Carson breaks Guinness World Record for most stripes on suit

on 30 January 202329 January 2023

What world records will TU president Brad Carson seek next? What do students think? It is no secret that University…

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Trust me, I love Jeff Bezos
Posted in Satire State-Run

Trust me, I love Jeff Bezos

on 23 January 202322 January 2023

To all future employers: please read this instead of my resume. As the satire editor for the Collegian, I have…

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