Please don’t look at the fact that most eviction notices are sent out to people of color. I wouldn’t know, because I don’t “see” color. graphcic by Anna Johns

Ethical landlord dots the ‘i’s in his eviction notices with little hearts

Free will? You get that for free? My landlord charges, like, $80 for not following the Oracle of Delphi. Liberals of late, find it “trendy” to villainize landlords, one of our nation’s most important jobs. To these unamerican, gun-hating, soy-eating, piece of garbage liberals I ask one question: is it an American ideal to make […]

This depiction of “Dear Evan Hansen” is a little weird to me, but who am I to complain? graphic by Anna Johns

My fraternity is morally (but also financially) bankrupt

Dad, if you are reading, please send money. Listen, I know. Fraternities are tools for status quo maintenance by maintaining generational wealth through “networking” which is shorthand for nepotistic cronyism. Not to mention, the “brotherhood” is mainly a function of trauma bonding with the intent of conformity, forcing men into the mold that is toxic […]

Mandatory alcohol training inspires drinking game

The mandatory training on alcohol safety is due next Wednesday. Here’s a new training-based drinking game to get you through the slog. The due date for the “Alcohol Awareness for Students” training is coming up fast. I know how much of a hassle this can be, especially when it takes up valuable time that could […]

We all thought this was some narc nonsense, but wow, he looks cool as fuck. graphic by Kyle Garrison

Governor Stitt bans alcohol, legalizes recreational LSD, weed and shrooms

Kevin Stitt shocks the state of Oklahoma with the legalization of Schedule 1 drugs and his insistence that “only pussies dont toke it up.” In a surprise move, Oklahoma governor Kevin Stitt issued an executive order, effective immediately, legalizing recreational weed, LSD and magic mushrooms. Alcohol, on the other hand, is now illegal. “I tried […]

Horoscopes

Aries: As a masochist, you will be very aroused this week. Take that as you will. Taurus: This week will suck for you because everyone will find out that your fraternity’s spiritual founder is Robert E. Lee. It’s KA. I am talking about Kappa Alpha. The big one that’s not Pike or Kappa Sigma. Now […]

You’re still struggling? Jesus fucking Christ ….

TU administration assures students their mental health is definitely totally 100% a priority for someone. The question of how student mental health affects academic performance has many components and varied opinions. This discussion often overlooks the obvious question. Why the fuck are you still struggling, we have be at this for six whole weeks? Just […]