The video game giant created the global pandemic to increase “Animal Crossing” sales. The people deserve to know the truth about COVID-19! To explain everything, let’s start at the very beginning: a very good place to start. It began with “Pokémon GO.” A few years ago, Niantic released “Pokémon GO” and encouraged people to explore […]
Author: Michaela Bueche
President Levit’s first order: censor Cl*ncy
Although she’s only been in power a week, Levit is already making sweeping changes. It was announced two weeks ago that President Gerard Cl*ncy would be resigning from office and that Provost Janet Levit was taking over as Interim President. Now that Levit has achieved her final form of Supreme Interim Ruler (SIR for short), […]
Kevin Stitt’s sugar baby application
Please shower me in your money Daddy Donald. 🙂 Governor Kevin Stitt gave the 2020 State of the State address last Monday, but instead of reporting the current condition of Oklahoma, he used his speech to submit his application to be President Donald Trump’s sugar baby. The transcript lies below (just like Kevin): First I […]
Collegian reporters make deal with devil
Two reporters pay the ultimate price to protest bloated spending at TU. Early last week, I was taking my nightly stroll around campus when I witnessed an odd trio in the parking lot behind Collins Hall. One was enveloped in a blood red glow, two horn-like growths sprouting from his head, He leered down at […]
Horoscopes
Now that you’re a semester into the year and fresh off the high of failing all your finals, you’re probably wondering why you’re still in your major. We at The State Run Media have found a solution! Make smarter decisions in 2020 and choose a new major based on your zodiac sign. Aries — Marketing […]
Where has all the money gone?
The answer might surprise you. On Wednesday, Oct. 16, economics professor Dr. Matthew Hendricks gave a presentation comparing TU’s allocation of funds to that of other colleges and universities. Many students I have talked to have praised Hendricks for his great use of graphs and straightforward explanation of our money usage. One student even said, […]
I’m not compensating for the size of my dick, I swear
Interview with “truck bro” goes horribly wrong. This week in “Strange Strangers found on the Vegas Strip,” I found a college student who seemed to be a little to into polishing his truck. The following are his gushings about said truck, so strap in because you’re in for quite a ride. “Yo wassup my bromies, […]
University Symphony Orchestra delievers animated performance
The group performed Weber, Beethoven and Grieg in their fall concert. On Monday, Oct. 28, the University of Tulsa Symphony Orchestra had its first concert of the year. The performance included the overture to “Der Freischütz” by Carl Maria von Weber, “Piano Concerto No. 3 in C Minor” by Ludwig van Beethoven and “Norwegian Dances” […]
Here are some spoopy horrorscopes for your pagan pleasure. Enjoy! Aries – Werewolf – Have a crazy ex-boyfriend who follows you everywhere? Try this simple solution! Become a werewolf. He won’t recognize you, and it’s a fun way to spice up your sex life because your new boyfriend is very much a furry, but didn’t […]
Student yelling “Hit me, bitch!” struck by vehicle
Determined to get free tuition, TU student risks it all in middle of the street. Many students can be heard all over campus screaming at cars. Some might assume this is an attempt to warn said cars of their presence to avoid getting hit. Nothing could be further from the truth. In reality, they are […]