Her power only grows stronger ... graphic by Collegian staff

Letter from the Propagandist

My dearest loyal subjects (of voting age), It is my great pleasure to announce the State-Run Media’s 2020 presidential endorsement. After much careful consideration and brutal deliberation, I have decided to endorse none other than our own TU Provost, Vice President of Academic Affairs and Interim President Janet Levit for President (of the United States). […]

One grande latte, hold the bureaucracy

A simple question leaves me cutting through a jungle of red tape. I’m nearly there, dear reader. Answers are hard to come by in this present climate. I never expected this journey to be easy, but I also never thought I’d change so much along the way. Monday morning. The McFarlin cafe. Two dollars and […]

“Perfect Blue” centers on the career of pop star-turned-actress, Mima. courtesy Rex Entertainment

Anime “Perfect Blue” explores toxic fan culture

Circle Cinema screened “Perfect Blue” for Anime Club, delving into the idea of obsessive adoration of pop culture idols. Fangirl (noun): a girl or woman who is an extremely or overly enthusiastic fan of someone or something. (Merriam-Webster) Between the ages of 12 and 17, I was what the internet would snidely refer to as […]

What’s the point of writing this damn thing if no one’s gonna ask me about it? photo by Emma Palmer

Why is no one asking me about my screenplay?

I’m far too talented to be treated like this. This is absolutely ridiculous. I’ve been sitting in this coffee shop for over an hour now, hunched over my Macbook Air, sipping this lavender infused cold brew, and not one person here has had the common decency to ask me about my screenplay. I chose this […]

Kendall Hall, home of various TU artistic programs, is scheduled to be destroyed soon. graphic by Emma Palmer

TU founds e-sports team

The University of Tulsa consoles art students with promises of big e-sports wins. In these worrying times — with winds of change intangible and yet inexorably smothering — comfort and reassurance are crucial. TU administration understands the uncertainty its students are feeling right now in the sudden wake of the True Commitment initiative. They see […]

The Troy smart speaker, sponsored by Monster Energy, has already helped countless men — just like you — get laid. graphic by Conner Maggio

Artificial intelligence: now just for straight men

Meet Troy, the brand new mansplaining smart speaker, man’s best friend and wingman. After a long night of bar hopping, flirting and flexing your way across town, you’ve finally brought a suitable conquest home with you. You’ve wined her, dined her. Things are getting hot and heavy — she’s taken off her jacket —but she […]

1: Reduce stress by reducing classes

By consolidating majors into five categories, students can avoid the stress of planning courses. I know I’m not alone in being overwhelmed when trying to pick out classes for next year. Fluid mechanics, partial differential equations, energy conversion, the science of whatever nonsense is currently profitable, etc; it’s a lot to look at, and I […]

The new proposed aquatic ambassador in her natural habitat. graphic by Conner Maggio

#4: Replace Goldie the golden retriever with Goldie the goldfish

You can’t pet this new pet ambassador. Goldie: golden retriever, certified good doggo and TU canine ambassador. But should she keep that job? I will concede that you’d be hard pressed to find someone on campus who dislikes her, and the prospect of firing a dog is basically begging for society to hate you. But […]