Kendall Hall, home of various TU artistic programs, is scheduled to be destroyed soon. graphic by Emma Palmer

TU founds e-sports team

The University of Tulsa consoles art students with promises of big e-sports wins. In these worrying times — with winds of change intangible and yet inexorably smothering — comfort and reassurance are crucial. TU administration understands the uncertainty its students are feeling right now in the sudden wake of the True Commitment initiative. They see […]

The Troy smart speaker, sponsored by Monster Energy, has already helped countless men — just like you — get laid. graphic by Conner Maggio

Artificial intelligence: now just for straight men

Meet Troy, the brand new mansplaining smart speaker, man’s best friend and wingman. After a long night of bar hopping, flirting and flexing your way across town, you’ve finally brought a suitable conquest home with you. You’ve wined her, dined her. Things are getting hot and heavy — she’s taken off her jacket —but she […]

1: Reduce stress by reducing classes

By consolidating majors into five categories, students can avoid the stress of planning courses. I know I’m not alone in being overwhelmed when trying to pick out classes for next year. Fluid mechanics, partial differential equations, energy conversion, the science of whatever nonsense is currently profitable, etc; it’s a lot to look at, and I […]

The new proposed aquatic ambassador in her natural habitat. graphic by Conner Maggio

#4: Replace Goldie the golden retriever with Goldie the goldfish

You can’t pet this new pet ambassador. Goldie: golden retriever, certified good doggo and TU canine ambassador. But should she keep that job? I will concede that you’d be hard pressed to find someone on campus who dislikes her, and the prospect of firing a dog is basically begging for society to hate you. But […]

Opinionated politicians team up, form punk rock band

After years of criticism, four female politicians reclaim their shrillness and monetize it. Although we’re only months into the new year, the entire nation already seems fixated on the 2020 presidential race. And who can blame it? With politicians announcing election bids every other day and media members already making predictions, the one question on […]

TU Copy-spiracy: where’s the money coming from?

Don’t believe the rumors. Don’t be spoon-fed lies. This is what really happened to TU Copy. It’s cold, but I’m safe. I’ve outrun their flashlight beams, slinking through shadows to escape to this dark, deserted spot deep in the bowels of Keplinger. It’s cold, but I’m safe. For now. I have maybe three sheets of […]

Latest cutting-edge hipster trend: Razor scooters. graphic by Conner Maggio

Analog scooters scoot to popularity on campus

Students ride out the scooter phase the hipster way. Limes. Birds. Whatever model you prefer, there’s no denying the fact that these two-wheeled wonders have been quick to scoot into the hearts of people all across TU’s campus. Gone are the days of self-propulsion (I’m looking at you, calves) when all it takes to make […]

Three midterm madness results

Interesting developments in the midterm election results from last week, including a dead candidate winning and a gentlemen’s duel. The 2018 midterm elections took place last Tuesday, Nov. 6, and while some votes have yet to be counted, the results are more or less in. As expected, the Democrats took the majority in the House […]

photo by Sara Serrano

Cain’s Ballroom hosted rockin’ Halloween show

Despite sound issues, the event soldiered on to celebrate the spookiest holiday. While Wednesdays aren’t incredibly conducive to late-night spooks and rocking out, that wasn’t going to stop me from hitting up 104.5 The Edge’s Halloween Haunt show at the Cain’s Ballroom. I never miss a chance to kill a few brain cells with some […]

TU’s MRS degree focuses on how to multitask as a young mother. One approach is growing more arms. graphic by Conner Maggio

TU proposes MRS degree

Exciting new opportunities arise for female TU students who are sick of their overly-academic studies. Ladies! Have you had a tough semester? Did midterms really get to you? Is your STEM career path looking too difficult to carry on with? Congratulations! Your Christian prayers have been answered. Next semester, the University of Tulsa will offer […]