Can the State-Run guess your major?

1. How many hours do you have this semester?
a) 15
b) 18
c) 20
d) I don’t sleep

2. How many hours a week do you spend working on academia outside of class?
a) 6-10
b) 10-15
c) 15-20
d) I still don’t sleep

3. Which math class did you take as a freshman?
a) Calc 1
b) Discrete Math
c) Pre Intro to Basic Geometry
d) Algebra

4. Have you taken any of these block courses? (circle all that apply)
a) Aesthetic Inquiry & Creative Experience
b) That one where you draw fountains or something
c) Velcro and Its Impact on the French and Indian War
d) Intro to Trees

5. What drugs are you on right now?
a) Ibuprofen
b) Ritalin
c) Steroids
d) Highlighter fumes

6. Where do you hang out the most on campus?
a) Club Mabee
b) My dorm
c) President Clancy’s office
d) The nearest dark corner

7. How strong is your grip on reality?
a) Pretty solid, I guess
b) What is reality anyway?
c) This isn’t real, nothing is real! Open your eyes moron!
d) Intro to Trees

Mostly A’s: Petroleum Engineering
Mostly B’s: Petroleum Engineering
Mostly C’s: Petroleum Engineering
Mostly D’s: Petroleum Engineering

Post Author: Sam Harrell