Photo of a blue light after the disco ball upgrades. Graphic by Madeline Woods

Blue emergency phones upgraded, now play 20 minutes of Kenny G

State-Run readers will be pleased to hear that much-needed changes have been made to the blue light emergency phones around campus. In recent months, TU students have expressed certain complaints about the blue emergency phones, which appeared to not be working as well as they should have been. Sophomore Kevin Green had a major grievance […]

The twenty-four carat gold bitcoin medallion that your "friend" bought. Courtesy Pixabay

How to take advantage of your “friend” from high school that has over 250 bitcoins

What’s hotter than bitcoin right now? Other people’s bitcoin. Bitcoin. You’ve probably heard this word recently. There’s a lot of hearsay on the nature of the aged cryptocurrency. “What the hell’s a cryptocurrency?” “How can something made from nothing be worth something?” “Dude, I bought five fake IDs on the darkweb with MY bitcoin.” Whether […]

The Rock has faced down John Cena but is he ready for Oprah? Wikimedia Commons

Oprah vs. The Rock: Battle for 2020

The Democratic Party will give their blessing to the winner of this wrestling match. Coming to Madison Square Garden in 2019, a wrestling match of presidential proportions, the ultimate battle of brawn and sheer star power for the 2020 Democratic nomination: Oprah Winfrey versus Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson! With The Rock recently teasing a presidential […]

Second semester freshmen anger, annoy

The newly emboldened second semester freshman are way too confident in their ability to be successful in college to the annoyance to everyone else. As classes start back up a new breed of college student joins us: the second semester freshman. Because of these overconfident, self-concerned brats, upperclassmen are now terrified to hang out anywhere […]