Dear readers, Something is amiss. No, I’m not talking about the threat of nuclear war, or that personal privacy is no longer viable, or that Tristan cheated on Khloe. I’m talking about myself and my position. As I’m sure you all know, in my time as Head Propagandist of the glorious “State-Run Media,” I have […]
The newly hired leader of The Collegian threatens to fire his writers if images of a certain superhero aren’t on his desk by 5 p.m. Guglielmetti has stressed the necessity for a picture of Spiderman in this week’s The Collegian paper. His insisting on photographing the superhero has caused waves in The Collegian office. The […]
The American people are ready to relive the ‘60’s arms race, with Bezos and Musk squabbling to launch the president into space. A space-exploration tycoon who sent an electric car into space for fun and a CEO whose latest venture is household AI both have a reason to send President Donald Trump into space because […]
The State-Run has vowed to remain clear on who we are selling out to. With the release of The State-Run Media’s new social media platform, The State-Run Social, we plan on being upfront and honest with our incredible violation of your privacy. We see that the problem with other social media is that they are […]
Facebook clues me into what I already know: I’m dead. Earlier this month, millions of Facebook users were left shocked and seriously concerned for the state of their privacy when news broke that Facebook had improperly shared their personal data with Cambridge Analytica during the 2016 presidential election. I, however, was not one of these […]
An objective report on the breadiness of each major tech CEO. 10. Coming in last place is Safra Catz, CEO of Oracle. She looks nothing like this piece of bread. She lacks sufficient sponginess, square-facedness and general breadiness. She would hardly be able to pass for any sort of pastry. Not to mention the hair. […]
The former tech giant accidentally reveals what it has been working on lately. In a stunning turn of events, International Business Machines has finally shown the public what it actually does. Since creating Watson in 2011, no one knows what IBM does anymore. The three most influential investigators in American politics — the FBI, CIA […]
After a quiet but devious acquisition by Electronic Arts, CoolMath.com has fallen from their pedestal of internet purity. It’s 2005. You’re in the 4th grade and just about to start computer class. The teacher, having already made you take “Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing” and taught you how to use Microsoft Word and Excel, has exhausted […]
The Collegian is a complete rag that needs to be driven off of this prestigious campus. First off, The Collegian actually pays their writers with real money. What a bunch of entitled little pricks. They think they deserve monetary reimbursement for their using their time and talents to produce written content? What chumps. Here at […]
Everyone knows that the true sign of a good web presence is a large number of disparate, disconnected websites. TU could use some help in this department. The University of Tulsa has a great variety of websites to service its students’ every wish, want and need. And while the current selection is incredibly useful, I […]
