Student gets flu, doesn’t even consider roommate’s feelings

7 March 2017
Hannah Kloppenburg, Chugging Emergen-C

An inconsiderate TU student got the flu during midterms. State-Run reporters talked to the victim, her roommate.

SA misinterprets student, brings in NEEDTOBREATHE for Springfest

7 March 2017
Amy Cairns, Professional breather

While SA was announcing the Springfest band, an asthma attack was misinterpreted as a call for the band “NEEDTOBREATHE.”

Fast Facts: All you need to know about executive orders

7 March 2017
Sam Chott, Checker and balancer

Executive orders can be hard to understand; we liked them under Obama, but now we don’t like them? Here’s what you need to know about this mysterious presidential power.

Student tried “adulting,” can’t get business suit off

28 February 2017
Amy Cairns, Favorite suit: birthday

After an attempt to briefly “adult” to pay some bills, a student found himself unable to stop being responsible and generally mature.

A man’s advice for dealing with catcalls

28 February 2017
Adam Lux, Harassment expert

After reading a series of articles where women gave advice on dealing with catcalling, we decided to switch it up and ask a man for a change.

Katie keeps trying to force nickname

28 February 2017
Amy Cairns, aka AC$Money

A TU student has come up with a new entry in a long line of nicknames that she insists her friends learn.

Hey ladies, you’ve got mansplaining all wrong

28 February 2017
Adam Lux, Unsolicited advisor

Women keep trying to talk about mansplaining, but there’s some stuff that they just don’t get. I, as a guy, can tell you all about it.

Professor starts sweating profusely after joke about sleeping with student

20 February 2017
Adam Lux, Had to google “Cochino”

TU professor Dr. Cochino acted strangely after a student made a joke in class about professors sleeping with students.

I want people to see me for who I really am, but also for my hot body

20 February 2017
Jacob Lee, Call him Adonis

Local beefcake Jacob Lee complains about people not noticing his beauty.

Trump starts to build bridges, not walls

20 February 2017
James Leahy, Fake student writer

Trump has decided to start making concessions to those he considers his enemies; the first is a one-way highway into Mexico.