Cut the cameras, our 1 hour of coming-of-age moment is over and, not for the first time, I wish the conspiracy theorists were right about it launching us into the end times. It is, however, the end of my GPA, the end of the beginning of enrollment period and the end of available apartments for […]
Aries (March 21-April 19): Allergy season approacheth Aries. The trees covered in their beautiful yellow are blooming across campus, and the pollen that comes off of them will make mucus of your nostrils. Beware the yellow dust covering your car, but celebrate your birthday with a sniffle or seven, as this year marks a change […]
Aries (March 21-April 19): Are you a psychopath, a cereal killer, or are you just really into post-modern art Aries. Either way your fits are atrocious, your music taste is mid, and you probably prefer to eat your cereal with water first, then cereal on top. And you like rice krispies, you flavor-fearing-freak. Taurus (April […]
It was a bad week for people who thought there would be something to look forward to last week. Personally, pulling up the class schedules had me feeling like a fool at 8am on April first, knowing full well that the classes I need aren’t being offered. If you see me posting The Weekly Yak’s […]
In this week’s April Fool’s edition of The Weekly Yak, I just want to say the most foolish app update is the one that gave people the option to remove the anonymity of an anonymous app. Why do people have usernames, and why are some of them so creative? It’s dumb. When I returned to […]
Aries (March 21-April 19): Embrace your inner rodent this week, Aries. You have both the physical and mental energy of a New York subway tunnel rat, and you should flaunt that with confidence. Who cares what anyone thinks of your stench, you’re too cool jumping turnstiles and avoiding fines to take notice. Taurus (April 20-May […]
Eighty degrees in February in Oklahoma. That’s bad. Can we admit that that’s bad? Most people consider February a winter month. That’s not winter. 80° is too much for winter. There is a line and 80° thoroughly passes that. I was under the impression that Oklahoma had four seasons. 80° in February is not it. […]
Events have been dry since that exposé last semester. In a plot twist of events, The University of Tulsa has announced its desire to become the top school for potential incoming students. To start to venture towards greatness, they pulled the plug on this once-wet campus and drained all of our boozy keg pools and […]
Aries (March 21-April 19): You are on fire this week Aries. No literally, watch out for spontaneously combusting, that’s generally seen by 9 out of 10 dermatologists as a bad way to exfoliate. Invest in some Cerave or Lancôme products instead. That 1 dermatologist is really weird too, so don’t listen to them. Taurus (April […]
It’s fine if you like bland white people food. Just say that. When you wake up in the morning to the sweet smell of cinnamon and baked goods wafting through your house, anyone would expect a delicious pastry in their near future. If the amateur cook in your household decided to make cinnamon rolls, you […]