Horoscopes

Aries (March 21-April 19): Are you a psychopath, a cereal killer, or are you just really into post-modern art Aries. Either way your fits are atrocious, your music taste is mid, and you probably prefer to eat your cereal with water first, then cereal on top. And you like rice krispies, you flavor-fearing-freak. Taurus (April […]

The Weekly Yak

It was a bad week for people who thought there would be something to look forward to last week. Personally, pulling up the class schedules had me feeling like a fool at 8am on April first, knowing full well that the classes I need aren’t being offered. If you see me posting The Weekly Yak’s […]

The Weekly Yak

In this week’s April Fool’s edition of The Weekly Yak, I just want to say the most foolish app update is the one that gave people the option to remove the anonymity of an anonymous app. Why do people have usernames, and why are some of them so creative? It’s dumb. When I returned to […]

Horoscopes

Aries (March 21-April 19): Embrace your inner rodent this week, Aries. You have both the physical and mental energy of a New York subway tunnel rat, and you should flaunt that with confidence. Who cares what anyone thinks of your stench, you’re too cool jumping turnstiles and avoiding fines to take notice. Taurus (April 20-May […]

Summer from Hell

Eighty degrees in February in Oklahoma. That’s bad. Can we admit that that’s bad? Most people consider February a winter month. That’s not winter. 80° is too much for winter. There is a line and 80° thoroughly passes that. I was under the impression that Oklahoma had four seasons. 80° in February is not it. […]

Era of Prohibition

Events have been dry since that exposé last semester. In a plot twist of events, The University of Tulsa has announced its desire to become the top school for potential incoming students. To start to venture towards greatness, they pulled the plug on this once-wet campus and drained all of our boozy keg pools and […]

Horoscopes

Aries (March 21-April 19): You are on fire this week Aries. No literally, watch out for spontaneously combusting, that’s generally seen by 9 out of 10 dermatologists as a bad way to exfoliate. Invest in some Cerave or Lancôme products instead. That 1 dermatologist is really weird too, so don’t listen to them. Taurus (April […]

Counterpoint: I hate cinnamon rolls

It’s fine if you like bland white people food. Just say that. When you wake up in the morning to the sweet smell of cinnamon and baked goods wafting through your house, anyone would expect a delicious pastry in their near future. If the amateur cook in your household decided to make cinnamon rolls, you […]

Counterpoint: Cinnamon rolls are good

The earliest known cinnamon rolls originate from Ancient Egypt. Cinnamon was used in their embalming process, followed by wrapping the body in cloth, meaning that a mummy could be considered a cinnamon roll. But let’s focus on the kind that tastes good. The first modern cinnamon rolls are attributed to the Swedish in the 1500s. […]

Horoscopes

Aries (March 21-April 19): Double whammy UTI and depressive episode this week Aries. Go drink some cranberry juice and ponder how “refusing to break the seal” for 36 hours might have ended up with you getting beaten up by your bladder, and losing. Taurus (April 20-May 20): Big gas station energy this week Taurus, so […]