Ever virtuous, ever resilient, is the student body of TU. Several times throughout the past week, we were faced with autumn storms, but just to be clear, the tornado warnings never included the TU campus. Within the same week, Mayo lost power, women lost power and tornadoes “touched down” in the streets because it knows […]
Aries (March 21 – April 19) If you are reading this, it may already be too late for me. Three days ago, on Sunday, Nov. 3, I attempted to use my astrally project myself forward in time to predict the outcome of the election, then return to my corporeal form and gamble all my student […]
Breaking News: Lime Scooter Corp. reports a record high for Lime Scooter usage among University of Tulsa students in the wake of its Little League homecoming victory. Students have been seen high-fiving one another from atop their electric scooters and season passes are officially sold out. Allegedly, the return policy for them was mysteriously shredded […]
It’s a good day for ignoring the pit in your stomach at the thought of seeing your advisor because it’s that part of the semester. Since your professor still hasn’t put in the grades for your midterm, you don’t even know if you’re going to pass that Block 1 or will need to take three […]
Aries: The universe is sick of seeing you repeatedly perplexed by this, so it’s telling you outright: nobody is going to fall in love with you for your music taste – they might even fall out of love with you. At this point, if you play “Yellow” by Coldplay on one more date the stars […]
October has brought with it an onslaught of tragedies, from freshmen not expecting to need deodorant in autumn, to your Outlook calendar reminding you that it isn’t too late to get a 10% refund for dropping that one “elective” and even a kidnapped “The Weekly Yak” article from last week’s edition of The Collegian. Thanks […]
Aries: This Wednesday is set to be your lucky day! Unfortunately, in order to get there, you first have to survive this Tuesday, which is your unlucky day. Be on the lookout for falling rocks and/or pianos, people carrying 2x4s on their shoulders making 180° turns, and crosswalks in general. Taurus: Tough luck Taurus! The […]
I believe in the great belief that “We Should All Know Less About Each Other.” In my headcanon these two events are related: the restoration of Pat Case’s ice cream machine and the unfortunate image posted on TU’s community Snapchat story on Tuesday evening. It was a good week for those who aren’t interested in […]
Aries: Good fortune will come your way if you start doing 20 crunches every day. If not good fortune, then at least decent abs. Take what you can get. Taurus: There’s someone secretly out to get you. Nobody can say for sure who it is. It might be your roommate. It might be one of […]
Aries: Wait, you actually play League of Legends, that’s crazy. You like clicking little guys on your computer screen don’t you, does it feel bad when that big red Defeat shows up knowing that it’s your fault. But still typing jgl diff in a vain attempt at deflecting the blame. Taurus: This week is yours […]