Category: State-Run

The cure to the ‘Rona is closer than you might think! 1. My Chemical Romance Fans – Band MCR recently announced they are going to stage a comeback. In response, the emo community lost their minds, and with good reason. Almost never before had there been a subculture of people who attached themselves to not […]

Osteen is concerned congregation won’t empty their pockets for God. When Lakewood Church closed its doors to the public in mid-March amid growing concerns over COVID-19, it was anyone’s guess as to when the congregation could return to a physical service. Online streaming options replaced the in-person sermons, so Pastor Joel Osteen can still get […]

The video game giant created the global pandemic to increase “Animal Crossing” sales. The people deserve to know the truth about COVID-19! To explain everything, let’s start at the very beginning: a very good place to start. It began with “Pokémon GO.” A few years ago, Niantic released “Pokémon GO” and encouraged people to explore […]

Tip three will get you through social distancing guaranteed. As campus rules get more strict with who can come and go and more students are stuck at home away from campus, many are missing the great deal of what the University of Tulsa had to offer. From frat parties to amazing caf food, there are […]

Trump has promoted his VP to Virus Spreader-in-Chief. Vice Supreme Leader Michael Pence has been named the CEO of Coronavirus, the hot new trend sweeping the globe! Trump came out and made the decision public recently citing the usual amount of logic for his decision. As the nation watched on, Pence gave a speech on […]

Has Biden absorbed the life-force of younger Dems? Who is former Vice President Joe Biden? After Pete Buttigieg and Amy Klobuchar dropped out of the race for the Democratic nomination last week, no one has seen either of them. But I, the intrepid student journalist that I am, know the truth. Biden sucked the life-force […]

Although she’s only been in power a week, Levit is already making sweeping changes. It was announced two weeks ago that President Gerard Cl*ncy would be resigning from office and that Provost Janet Levit was taking over as Interim President. Now that Levit has achieved her final form of Supreme Interim Ruler (SIR for short), […]

Women are often degraded in anime. The solution? Just watch shows without women! When I began watching anime, I was around 14 years old. I knew of “Cardcaptor Sakura” and some good old timey animes, but nothing that was really trending or popular. I didn’t really know what I was gravitating towards in popular anime, […]

Admin rolls the dice with new “D&D” campaign. The esports lounge is open! It was something the student population asked for, and lo and behold the administration delivered. But could there be another reason the administration decided to build the cutting-edge facility? The first full week the esports lounge was open, students could hardly fit […]

Please shower me in your money Daddy Donald. 🙂 Governor Kevin Stitt gave the 2020 State of the State address last Monday, but instead of reporting the current condition of Oklahoma, he used his speech to submit his application to be President Donald Trump’s sugar baby. The transcript lies below (just like Kevin): First I […]