TU’s MRS degree focuses on how to multitask as a young mother. One approach is growing more arms. graphic by Conner Maggio

TU proposes MRS degree

Exciting new opportunities arise for female TU students who are sick of their overly-academic studies. Ladies! Have you had a tough semester? Did midterms really get to you? Is your STEM career path looking too difficult to carry on with? Congratulations! Your Christian prayers have been answered. Next semester, the University of Tulsa will offer […]

Rudy McRoadhog behind bars for breaking the Golden Rule: drive as one would wish others to drive. graphic by Conner Maggio

Hand wavin’ heathen handcuffed

Foreign trucker breaks longstanding Oklahoma tradition and awaits trial. Rudy “Chad” McRoadhog, a trucker from Ohio, passed through Oklahoma last weekend Oct. 3, 2018 and found himself in jail the next morning. McRoadhog neglected to make the mandatory hand-wave to a driver who let him into the right lane. The trucker reportedly wished to turn […]

Benjamin Franklin, Elon Musk, Abraham Lincoln (Vampire Hunter) and President Trump on Mount Slowless. graphic by Conner Maggio

The definitive list of best United States presidents

The hard truth about our country’s greatest historical figures. To spice things here in the dying industry of newspaper print, we have compiled a list of the top 10 presidents of the United States. Here is the rundown: First, some honorable mentions. We looked and looked through this list and after extensive combing, narrowed out […]

Letter from the propagandist

My lovely future constituents, Last week, I needed to blow my nose, so I picked up my first newspaper in months. Before I did the deed, I opened the Tulsa World and, to my suprise, Kevin Stitt’s face was plastered on it accompanied with the word “endorsement.” Who knew papers would blatantly try to sway […]

Proposal: #DontKneedU

A counter-protest has formed in response to football players kneeling during the national anthem. In our current state of affairs, protests are a daily occurance. People, now more than ever, want to truly feel as though their voices are heard. With the introduction of social movements and protests, there always seems to be a countermovement […]

Choose your fighter: the three contenders for why the campus lights stopped working. graphic by Conner Maggio

Freshmen aren’t the only ones that black out on campus

Three conspiracy theories on why the campus lights didn’t turn on. Last week, The University of Tulsa experienced a blackout of the sidewalk lights that impacted much of campus Sunday Oct. 21, 2018. Here are the top theories on the cause. Clowns, Part Two The Pennywises of the world have struck again! Remember the uprising […]

Goldie ready to trade in some suspicious meat to her favorite butcher, We Promise We Don’t Sell Cats. graphic by Conner Maggio

Where have all the cats gone?

Campus cats mysteriously vanish around Collins Hall. We might be nearing the end of spooky season, but don’t get too relaxed. Halloween is just around the corner, waiting to jumpscare the Snickers out of you. Unfortunately, tricks, treats and spoopy shenanigans aren’t the only things escalating in the runup to Halloween. According to Campus Security […]

Highlight reel from the VP’s visit to ORU

Mike Pence came to Tulsa to support Kevin Stitt and faced consequences from Oral Roberts himself With the 2018 midterm elections rapidly approaching, the campaign cycle whirlwind is in full force — endorsements, attack ads and rallies flying everywhere — and Oklahoma is no stranger to tornadoes: literal and political. If you didn’t attend or […]