Weeding out the inebriates

Campus Security officers develop new surefire methods to catch potheads in the act. Amid changes in state legislation and a large influx of new students, Campus Security has now put in new programs to ensure that TU students stay sober. And rather than taking preventative measures, Campo will be looking to catch students in the […]

Quiz: how much debt you gonna have?

A 100-percent accurate calculation for how deep of a hole you are digging. Where did you sleep? 1. Lol, sleep? 2. Couch surfing in dorm lobbies 3. Off-campus housing 4. I bought a house 5. On-campus housing What meal plan did you purchase? 1. Only the scraps left after RA programs 2. Ramen 3. Fast […]

What TU doesn't want you to see: Goldie clones traveling via the hidden tunnels outside the Physical Plant. graphic by Conner Maggio

What’s the deal with all these holes?

Holes, secret tunnels and clones of a beloved golden retriever are all strands in TU’s web of lies. If you haven’t seen or fallen into one yet, it might interest you to know that several holes have recently opened up around campus grounds. Currently, sources report one by the Caf, another by Lorton Hall and […]

Ricky-Three-Dog Capone is one of the finalists to be TU's new canine ambassador. graphic by Conner Maggio

Goldie to be replaced by three dogs in trench coat

Being TU’s canine ambassador is a ruff business. The State-Run Media has come across some hard hitting news and information for generations, but we fear this info could rock campus as we know it. We have received comments and information from a certain source who shall not be named that, in an effort to increase […]

New couple Bill and Lucinda bring life to an otherwise dead event on their date. graphic by Conner Maggio

Cheap dates for cheapskates

Never worry about money again with these hot date ideas. Stuck in a rut with bae? Wanting to impress that cutie in your intro class? Get the biggest bang for your buck with State-Run’s best date ideas on and around campus. Bring your date along for your required community service: Show off your love of […]

McFarlin wet and wild, set to premiere as soon as you pay back your student loans. graphic by Conner Maggio

McFarlin is Wet with Anticipation

Beautifying campus one fountain at a time. State Run Media has been granted an exclusive preview for TU’s upcoming fountain on top of the McFarlin Library. Students and teachers alike have been criticizing alleged the land of learning for its lack of elegance. Many have gone on the record stating that a fountain is truly […]

Local student learned more from Duolingo than flirtatious Parisians. graphic by Conner Maggio

Study abroad student’s life unchanged

A TU student had only a good time in France. As classes begin again and people start to settle back into their lives in Tulsa, there is always one thing to count on: everyone who studied abroad this summer will tell their classmates stories about how the experience changed their entire perspective on the world […]

Roommate treaty broken in three days

Minor inconveniences stack up to a fight to the death. This is a chronicle of the events of room 220. An all-out war was waged; the hall had no survivors. The following is an accurate retelling of the battles that ensued. 1045 hours, Monday: Treaty signed and noted. The roommates have taken their sides of […]

Students feel the brunt of the blunt

Harmless plant renders hundreds of students felons. During the first day of class, President Clancy delivered a stern message regarding TU’s medical marijuana policy in a campus-wide email, stating that it is strictly prohibited on campus. The public outcry was immediate. This email united students all over the political spectrum. In front of Collins Hall, […]