This land is our land, this land is Greenland

President Trump’s Greenland tweet flexes the United States’s international muscles. On Aug. 19, President Trump’s desire to purchase the incorrectly named Greenland was rebuffed by Danish Prime Minister Mette Frederiksen. Despite his completely reasonable request, for some reason the Danes did not agree. Some suggested pride; after all, the U.S. tried to purchase Greenland way […]

Kendall Hall, home of various TU artistic programs, is scheduled to be destroyed soon. graphic by Emma Palmer

TU founds e-sports team

The University of Tulsa consoles art students with promises of big e-sports wins. In these worrying times — with winds of change intangible and yet inexorably smothering — comfort and reassurance are crucial. TU administration understands the uncertainty its students are feeling right now in the sudden wake of the True Commitment initiative. They see […]

All students of the PSC must take on superhero alter egos. graphic by Emma Palmer

A guide to life in the new Professional Super College

Big changes are coming to TU; here’s how to fit in with your new college. On Thursday, Dr. Clancy announced the University of Tulsa’s True Commitment, a plan that led to budget cuts and consolidations all around. There were many changes that were released, but the one that has most students scratching their heads is […]

Letter from the propagandist

To whom it may concern, I have served you well during my time as the head propagandist. After months of tireless dedication to the truth, I am writing this letter to let the public know of my resignation. The State has done me well, but there are bigger, better, less government-sanctioned things for me to […]

The Troy smart speaker, sponsored by Monster Energy, has already helped countless men — just like you — get laid. graphic by Conner Maggio

Artificial intelligence: now just for straight men

Meet Troy, the brand new mansplaining smart speaker, man’s best friend and wingman. After a long night of bar hopping, flirting and flexing your way across town, you’ve finally brought a suitable conquest home with you. You’ve wined her, dined her. Things are getting hot and heavy — she’s taken off her jacket —but she […]

Mark “Allegra” Johnson using his cable news program to push his agenda. photo by Conner Maggio

Inactive politicians thrown out of legislature

A quirk in the law gives citizens the power to kick out politicians who don’t serve the people. For once, it seems that lawyers have actually been useful. Without them, Oklahomans never would have found this quirk in the wording of the law. When voters heard about the massive inactive voter purge happening in a […]

1: Reduce stress by reducing classes

By consolidating majors into five categories, students can avoid the stress of planning courses. I know I’m not alone in being overwhelmed when trying to pick out classes for next year. Fluid mechanics, partial differential equations, energy conversion, the science of whatever nonsense is currently profitable, etc; it’s a lot to look at, and I […]