Classifieds: Seeking friend slightly less hot than me

5 April 2017
Adam Lux, Is a weak 7... on a good day

Don’t just send signals: Not everybody knows Morse Code

5 April 2017
Amy Cairns, .- .-. . / .-- . / -.-. --- -- .--. .- - .. -... .-.. .

Relationship guru Amy Cairns teaches you how to not be bad at communication.

It’s not you, it’s me: I’m just not mature enough for a snap streak

5 April 2017
Amy Cairns, 451🔥😎

Amy Cairns reveals her deepest flaw in this chilling tell-all.

Which Destiny’s Child member are you? (but everyone gets to be Beyoncé)

5 April 2017
Sam Chott, Doesn’t know the other girls’ names

Everyone who grew up in the 90s remembers all of the decade’s pop groups, especially Destiny’s Child: the supergroup composed of Beyoncé Knowles, and other people also. Take this quiz to figure out which Destiny’s Child member you are, but with the peace of mind that you get to be Beyoncé.

Could this one easy trick change your life forever?

28 March 2017
Sam Chott, Easy trick

We’ve got one easy trick – could it change your life?

Sean Spicer invites “Know Your Meme” to press conferences

28 March 2017
Sam Beckmann, Pepe apologist

After banning multiple news organizations from White House press conferences, Press Secretary Sean Spicer has begun briefing Know Your Meme reporters.

Ok, who did it: somebody told John about Marxism

28 March 2017
Adam Lux, Bourgeoisie backer

Someone told John about the political and economic ideas of Karl Marx, and now he won’t shut the fuck up about it.

White boy raps along to “Gold Digger,” isn’t slowing down

28 March 2017
Adam Lux, Loudly raps along to “Bonfire”

A white guy at a party started rapping along to the explicit version of Kanye’s “Gold Digger,” and he doesn’t seem like he’s gonna avoid certain words.

5 things I learned while high on spring break

28 March 2017
Conner Maggio, High credit score, also just high

A State-Run writer had a few epiphanies while on spring break, which were definitely unrelated to any substances he was ingesting.

Quiz: Do you like cilantro?

28 March 2017
Amy Cairns, Enjoys the taste of soap

There are all kinds of people in the world, and they can all be separated with short quizzes. Are you a decent person, or the kind of sub-human that enjoys cilantro?