Removal of Ten Commandments monument causes state-wide panic

Fallout has been severe following the removal of the Ten Commandments from Oklahoma’s State Capitol. In the past week, there has been a massive spiked increase in crime-rates, from venial misdemeanors to felonies. Additionally, a series of plagues have infected Oklahoma, with TU’s campus being one of the affected areas. Murder rates had skyrocketed as […]

Study abroad awakens love of learning in student

When junior Elizabeth Brown went to Ireland this semester, her friends at TU were expecting to be overwhelmed by travel pictures and stories of life abroad. Instead, Brown has regaled them with tales of the library. Brown, a Chemistry major, is studying in Cork at University College Dublin. Before she left, her plans for the […]

Man-eating plants take over campus

The university received a shock last week when reports of giant, man-eating plants swept the campus. Amidst the confusion, writers at the State-Run Media managed to contact a student who claims to understand where it all started. “It was at last week’s Tri-Beta plant sale,” says biology student and horticulture enthusiast Ashley Krelnik. “I go […]

TU’s giant “T” breaks world record for most boring world record

After it was announced that TU students broke the record for the largest letter formed out of human bodies, Guinness discovered the university had actually surpassed two world-records, with the latter being the most subpar record in human history. Guinness representative Willis Andrews told reporters, “We were pretty certain this was the most lowball stunt […]

Professors swap subjects, classes more enjoyable

TU student Margaret Skinner approached The State-Run Media last week after noticing that something seemed a bit off about her professor in Thursday’s session of Foundations of Psychology. “When I came into class on Thursday,” stated Skinner, “it seemed that, for once, there wasn’t an inherent disappointment in her eyes.” A similar report came from […]

The State-Run Media’s top five alternative grading scales

Entropic: If you really want to follow the laws of thermodynamics in your classroom, this is the way to go. Start out the class with a certain number of points distributed in a very structured, organized and centralized way. For example, give ten percent of your class 100 percent and everybody else zero percent. Then […]

Student consumes too much pumpkin spice

The beginning of autumn has brought on the first round of exams for the semester at the University of Tulsa. Luckily for students, this season also heralds the return of Starbucks’ beloved Pumpkin Spice Latte. For some, this drink can be a much-needed study aide. But for others the combination of stress and lack of […]

Rising Amish revolution threatens artificial intelligence

Artificial Intelligence. It mocks your spelling via your phone’s autocorrect, and may one day doing everything from driving your car to replacing your doctor. Many fear Artificial Intelligence, or “A.I.”, could also destroy humanity some day in the not-so-distant future. What you probably haven’t heard of is the other A.I., the one that is scaring […]

Majority of A&S students have degree in bullshit

Scandal scoured TU’s campus this past May when it was discovered the entire Class of 2015 liberal arts majors had graduated with honors despite never having read any of the assigned course materials. As a result, some TU graduates may have their degrees revoked. When an inquiry was made of how any of the students […]