Consider the future of the Supreme Court when voting

During an election, presidential candidates are bombarded with topics to consider, from how to deal with ISIS to their tax returns. One issue that’s been getting relatively little coverage this year is their choices of the next Supreme Court judge. But this issue should highly factor into who is elected president. Currently, one seat is […]

When it comes to cookies, Clinton trounces Trump

In a cookie contest traditionally entered by presidential candidate’s spouses, Bill Clinton’s oatmeal chocolate chip cookies far exceed Melania Trump’s star cookies. The year was 1992. The Cold War had officially ended, the space Shuttle Endeavor made its first flight, and Hillary Clinton said, “I suppose I could have stayed home and baked cookies and […]

Walmart is responsible for handling crime at their stores

There are four Walmart supercenter locations across the city of Tulsa, each one gracing headlines one time or another for what seems to be an incessant occurrence of crime. Some are predictable and rather harmless. Shoplifters are caught on camera by store staff, who contact police officers, who in turn arrive just in time to […]

Twenty-One Plus

Nutty Bee’s Knees honey 2 ½ oz. dry gin 1 oz. amaretto ¾ oz. honey syrup* ½ oz. lemon juice optional: 3 drops each of almond and lemon extracts nutmeg almond *Honey syrup: Pour boiling water over an equal amount of honey and stir until dissolved. Drizzle honey into a martini glass in a spiral […]

Paranormal activity feared on campus

In a turn of events that defies logic and reason, dog poop has appeared in the courtyard of Lorton Village, a supposedly pet-free apartment complex. The State-Run Media has responded to reports in an attempt to get to the bottom of this. “I just don’t see how this could happen.” said Tanisha Wells, a resident. […]

State governor discovered to be money-eating nightmare monster

For the past six years, reports of a “horrible, sandy blonde” creature have circulated throughout Oklahoma schools. This monster, said to prey on underprivileged youth and working class adults, has been something of an urban myth in Oklahoma. That is, until this past year. Beginning late in 2015, soon after the governor announced budget cuts […]

Warning: course materials contain spoilers

To Whom it May Concern, Spoilers are bad. We all know that. Some of us, like myself, go to great lengths to avoid seeing them. My reaction of becoming a nomad in the Sahara desert for a couple months to avoid Star Wars spoilers may have been on the more extreme end of this scale, […]