Fans speculate over what the baseball team’s new, even more racist, logo will be.
People have long worried that the infamous Chief Wahoo is too politically correct. The Indians General Manager is finally changing this.
“We need to step up the racism around here,” he said. “I mean, we barely offend 10 percent of the population. We receive maybe a dozen emails a day about our mascot if we’re lucky. We want full-scale Twitter wars!”
The original logo was drawn in 1947. The name Chief Wahoo came from a totally
good-natured comic strip that celebrated Native American stereotypes. In 1950, during the golden age of progressive America, the press first associated it with an Indians pitcher. By 1952, the press attached the moniker to the logo.
The Indians’s GM also commented on their competition. “The Redskins have been outdoing us for years, and I don’t care if they are in the NBA, NHL or whatever the Mexican sport is with the ball … we need to be the best franchise we can, period.”
Speculation has already started among sports fans over what the new logo will be. Some local Clevelanders have expressed interest in possibly renaming it “Chief Indians-Are-Bad,” or perhaps “Chief Wants-His-land-Back.”
Some people have expressed interest in mocking other minorities. African-Americans, Jews, Asians, and the other races all wait in anticipation to see if they will be lucky enough to be a caricature on a white-guy’s sleeve.
“There’s a lot out there, man,” said Alex King of the Indians’s marketing and strategy department. “We should expand our borders to other races too! Uh, I mean figurative borders anyway. We still need to build Trump’s wall.”
In spite of all this, many doubt the mascot would change races because it might mean they would have to change the name. Some say the team’s owner already shot down the idea of changing it to please fans.
“‘Cleveland Jews’ just doesn’t have the same ring to it,” said a fan.
Many ideas have been circulating for how to keep the smiling Indian but with a fresh twist — a full portrait of him drinking alcohol on top of a casino, or perhaps an action shot of him shooting a bow and arrow at our beloved military.
Others claim the Indians logo will change to a modern Indian scalping a helpless white child in front of his teepee made from oil derricks. Representatives from the Indians have long denied that they meant to degrade Native people because it would degrade their team. This accurate and modern representation would still be imposing and regal.
The National Congress of American Indians gave their thoughts on the change as well.
“This is just the kind of shit the sports industry would pull,” said Jefferson Keel, NCAI president. “It goes against everything we have worked for.”
As the time-honored logo fades into memory, hardcore fans can eagerly await the unveiling of a brand-new logo.