Citing victories in gay marriage, adoption laws and anti-discrimination legislation, groups around the country announced this week that they would be moving on to phase two of the Gay Agenda.
Phase two focuses on youth and calls for getting homeless LGBT teens off the streets and into shelters and homes, banning traumatizing conversion therapies, pushing anti-bullying legislation, and promoting education to combat the high suicide rates among these demographics.
Anti-LGBTQIAA groups recognize these points as corrupting our children, restricting freedom of speech, and burning all the Bibles in the land (probably while they take our guns).
We reached out to pro-LGBTQIAAQBKE supporter Paul Hasting for comment. He stated, “These are all basic human rights that straight and cisgender people take for granted. The suicide rates for some of these demographics are five times higher than the rest of the population, and that needs to stop.”
Anti-LGBTQIAAQBKEPMRA activist Kally Sern was heard yelling, “The children! Won’t anyone think of the children?!” loudly at anyone who would listen, make eye contact or glance at her and then quickly away.
Artist’s depiction of a typical homosexual, as described by Kally Sern. Note the rainbow patch. The number of stripes denotes the homosexual’s rank, this one being a Fifth Level Sparkle Unicorn, one of a variety of “jackbooted gay thugs.”
Sern was later heard saying, “At this rate we’ll have old men marrying little kids, people marrying goats, jellyfish marrying starfish…”
Hasting replied, “Holy fuck?! Who’s asking for that? No one is asking for that. If I wanted to marry my goat I’d move to Texas. Jesus Christ people, all we want are equal rights.”
Sern went on to rant, “They’ll marry our children, stop killing themselves, find good jobs, be accepted by their families. How is anyone supposed to think about global warming or the national debt with these atrocities being committed?” Sern went on muttering something about activist judges.
Sern is said to be proposing legislation in the state government that would harass LGBTQ children earlier, require bullying in school. THe bill would also offer education to their parents on how to alienate them earlier and support for parents kicking their children out of the house.
According to Serns bills, children already adopted by gay parents would be left under an underpass or entered into the state’s foster care system to save them from their horrific fate.
Later this week LGBTQ groups will be hosting educational workshops and meet and greets with prominent LGBTQ community members. Or, as Kern reported it, “a satanic ritual with animal sacrifice, drinking and twerking.”
