I suppose you have to take drastic measures to get any kind of student turnout for campus activities.
With the fall semester, the University of Tulsa’s campus engagement team has attempted to further student relations through the creation of new activities. One such activity was the faux “Mission Impossible” style scavenger hunt to save Goldie, with the winning team getting a series of Goldie plushies. However, not every team was given the same set of instructions, and the State-Run Media has tracked down a video taken by a team that shows their rather perplexing pursuit of said plushies.
The video begins, like most college-made films, with our star and starlet fidgeting with the camera.
“Laurie, just back up. Lemme do it.”
“Dude, it’s my camera. I know what I’m doing.”
The bickering and nattering continues for quite some time, but eventually they settle things and begin the hunt. Their first series of clues were relatively boring: go here, look in this room, take an envelope and run to the next location. This process repeated a few times, and morale dipped. Running alongside other teams vying for the same clues seemed more like a footrace than an actual hunt, but, somehow, they found themselves alone, following a clue that very obviously indicated Tyrrell Hall.
On approaching the building, a piece of copy paper saying the next clue would be exclusively on the second floor convinced our team they were in the right place.
Although the note said second floor, the door opened into a landing between two flights of stairs and, confused, the video shows them peeking down the stairs as well as up. Incorrectly deciding that the landing was between the basement and first floor, the two headed up the stairs, then up again to what they believed was the second floor but actually was the third.
On the third floor, the footage shows the two adventurers navigating the area in dim light, trying doors and looking around corners. One can hear them calling out to one another, with questions relating to the lack of other teams and the strangeness at the lack of light, but followed by reassurances that the note said they were in the right place. Eventually, one of the two freshmen spots a door with a crack of light at the bottom, pointing out the irregularity and motioning her companion to join her. As they opened the door, they looked at not a welcoming committee of administrators with Goldie plushies, but a dozen obviously flustered and frustrated individuals. They were, according to the footage, arrayed around a series of tables, with documents, papers, rubrics and other academic materials splayed out. Enthralled in their work, the room full of dudes continued passing comments to one another.
“Hey, can you make sure this draft doesn’t match yours?”
“Don’t you remember? You promised to take this exam for me.”
“With this USB stick, it’ll automatically download a program to the computer with all the tables and formulas you need. Yeah, it gets around Lockdown browser.”
The conversations centered on conducting academic misconduct, and the two freshmen, after their initial shock, perceived a door slightly ajar on the other side of the throbbing mass of those without integrity. Moving slowly so as to not draw attention, they slipped around the group, sharing a sigh of relief when passing the threshold into another room.
This room, however, was not really a room, but a gallery looking into an auditorium below. From beyond the railing, cheers and shouts could be heard, with irregular sounds of martial combat coinciding with the cacophony. Looking over the edge, the two chanced upon seeing a makeshift arena created by stacking chairs and tables with a group of obviously older students watching two younger individuals in the center of the room.
“I … I think that’s my grad teacher.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, she’s teaching my comp class.”
“Woah, is that Jasper down there?”
“Where?”
“In the middle? You remember him from orientation?”
“Oh, yeah! That is him!”
As the two conferred, Jasper, presumably, lunged forward and struck the other student, knocking them down and triggering an uproarious cheer.
“I told you he was a good bet!”
“Hey, get back up! I put good money on you!”
Looking again at one another, they glanced back at the door they came through, but going back to the sweat-filled stress room seemed unpleasant at best. Through a few quick comments, they split up, attempting to find another way through. The camera then shows our broadcaster seeing a hand raised up from the other side of the gallery, creeping over to rejoin his partner, then working their way up to an access door. From here, they stepped into another stairwell, carefully taking one step, then another, tiptoeing their way past the door presumably to the auditorium. At the bottom of the stairwell, our two heroes share another glance, hinting at how they have no other options than pushing open the door.
Behind door number three was, yet again, not a room full of joy and happiness, but a series of robed figures kneeling over facing the center of a room. However, thankfully, in the center of the room, the object of the cultists’ attention, was Goldie! There she sat, munching on leaves? crickets? something? She’s a puppy, she eats everything. But there she was! After the initial shock, the two protagonists stood still, and the cultists began a vague, low chant in an unknown language. Minutes pass as the students stand still, witnessing something they certainly should not be seeing, yet when our cameraman steps forward, his footstep brushes something on the floor, sending it clattering. Breaking the chant, the cultists look towards the interlopers, one larger figure standing up and stalking towards them. Frozen in fear, the two younglings simply stand as the cultist reaches up, grasping beneath their masked neck, then ripping off the mask and cloak, revealing a man in a three piece suit.
“Congrats kids, you’ve finally made it!”
Brad Carson then began to point out the other cultists, naming off various administrators as they derobed, then calling Goldie over.
“Here you go Goldie, meet some new friends.”
From there, an administrator brought over a pair of plushies, whose eyes flashed in the light, seeming almost alive. After retracing their steps, passing the fight club, then the room of misconduct, then navigating the stairs and making their way outside, our two plush-bearers proceeded to lay in the grass and pass out, the footage capturing a time lapse of the stars.
