Hardesty STEM lounge opens

TU turns former Arts & Humanities council building into exclusive STEM student lounge.

Last week, The University of Tulsa announced their acquisition of the Hardesty Arts Center, the former location of the Arts and Humanities Council (more commonly known as ahha). In the center of Tulsa’s arts district, this building previously hosted multiple galleries, artist studios and educational opportunities. Many members of the Tulsa community have become concerned about the building’s fate since the closure of ahha, and finally they can quit holding their breath. Don’t worry, arts lovers of Tulsa, TU is here to save the day!

Because TU is an incredibly rich school sitting on an absolute nest egg of funds to do with whatever they please, they acquired the multi-million dollar facility the second it went on the market! Rumor has it that president Brad Carson himself sat at his computer, waiting to claim the building with lightning-quick speed as if it were a pair of coveted Taylor Swift tickets. TU’s Board of trustees sat anxiously in the next room, waiting for Brad to swing open the door with triumph and shout, “I got ‘em!! Sorry, I mean, I got it!!”. Congratulations, Mr. President.

So what exactly is TU planning to do with their hot new acquisition? I’m so glad you asked. Janet Levit herself, TU’s most beloved interim president emerita, reappeared on campus just for the chance to announce the heavily-anticipated news. After flying into the press conference on her magic broomstick and tipping her witch’s hat off to the audience, she began her remarks.

“It is with the utmost pleasure that I announce to the city of Tulsa that the university will be transforming the Hardesty Center from a valuable space for the arts to grow into a highly exclusive lounge designated for our beloved STEM students!” stated Levitt.

“The lounge may only be entered and utilized by students majoring or minoring in one of our world-renowned STEM programs. It will include an arcade, a space for bowling, a spa with access to a sauna and complementary massages, a rooftop restaurant complete with a bar and whatever else our precious STEM students may desire. There will be a VIP space on the second floor designated specifically for those studying engineering. Finally, our perfect angels will have the recognition they deserve, and get the rest they have so valiantly earned!”

“Although we are a liberal arts institution, we all know no one studies the arts and humanities at TU anyway. We have actually purposefully neglected the two arts buildings, Chapman and Phillips, in hopes that they will become so dangerous and unpleasant that all A&S students will either become the poor victims of a tragic accident or illness, or they’ll simply leave the university altogether.”

Levitt concluded her address with a wide smile, and a request for questions from those in attendance. One reporter representing TU’s very own Collegian stood up slowly and asked, “What about the business students? Will they have access to the new lounge?”

In response, Levitt furrowed her brow and gave the reporter a puzzled look. “We have business students?” she asked, “Huh, you don’t say…”

Can’t wait to see you all at the new and exclusive STEM student lounge! It’s since been revealed that A&S students may be allowed in, after all, someone has to scrub the toilets!

Post Author: Margaret Laprarie