Highlight reel from the VP’s visit to ORU

Mike Pence came to Tulsa to support Kevin Stitt and faced consequences from Oral Roberts himself

With the 2018 midterm elections rapidly approaching, the campaign cycle whirlwind is in full force — endorsements, attack ads and rallies flying everywhere — and Oklahoma is no stranger to tornadoes: literal and political. If you didn’t attend or were not even aware, Vice President Mike Pence paid a visit to Tulsa last Thursday to support Republican gubernatorial candidate Kevin Stitt.

A great deal of the rally at Oral Robert University’s Mabee Center was the standard fare: speeches by U.S Senators Inhofe and Lankford, U.S. Representative Mullin and Vice President Pence, full-throated praise for Stitt and his great likeness to President Trump and promises to “Make Oklahoma Great Again!”

However, there were quite a few things at the event that stood out, highlights that you should definitely be aware of if you wish to make an informed decision come Nov. 6.

Stitt found hotboxing his dressing room
Most curiously, candidate Stitt did not talk much at his own rally. His campaign would have you believe that he’s just a humble man who prefers to let others talk him up rather than sing his own praises, but in truth, Stitt was actually just high out of his mind.

Right before he was scheduled to step on stage, Stitt was discovered smoking weed in his dressing room. The room itself took hours to air out, but Stitt didn’t have the luxury of time.

Simply too high to read his prepared speech on his support for religious freedom, gun rights and keeping recreational marijuana illegal, the other rally speakers had to extend their talks to allow enough time for Stitt to sober up and offer a few words at the end of the event.

Oral Roberts came back from the dead to slap Pence
In the middle of Pence’s speech, the power in the Mabee Center went out. As the outage lasted only moments, it was blamed on weather conditions, and the rally continued as if uninterrupted. However, that doesn’t explain why Pence seemed so shaken up during the rest of the proceedings. Eyewitnesses from the front row have a different story to tell.

“I swear to Jesus Christ, as soon as the lights went out this … this figure appeared,” said Marjorie Wilkens, a rally-goer, “all pearly white, just shining in the darkness of the place. It wasted no time in giving Pence the back of its hand, and then the front, and then the back again.”

Paranormal experts agree that this was most likely the ghost of Granville Oral Roberts, charismatic televangelist and founder of Oral Roberts University, risen from the grave to give the Vice President a piece of his mind.

“The most likely case was that Oral Roberts could not stand to see such a liberal [Pence] giving a speech at his beloved campus,” said Dr. Reed Kashma, an expert in phantasmagorical indignance. “He worked some of his ghost magic and shut off the power so he could let Pence have it in private. Simple as that.”

Now that you have all the facts, go make the most of your vote!

Post Author: Sara Serrano