Something is amiss. No, I’m not talking about the threat of nuclear war, or that personal privacy is no longer viable, or that Tristan cheated on Khloe. I’m talking about myself and my position.
As I’m sure you all know, in my time as Head Propagandist of the glorious “State-Run Media,” I have become a shining emblem of truth, an inspiration to journalists the world over and the most beloved person on campus. However, there are those who, seeing me, find only jealousy in their hearts. While I was used to this reaction from those over at our non-state-sponsored rival “The Collegian,” I have been hearing murmurings and spectres of murmurings that there are some even within my own beloved “State-Run Media” that desire to usurp me.
I know neither who is behind this, their machinations nor their motive, be it power, chaos, or simple envy. While I can’t imagine any of my obedient underlings feeling anything but love and appreciation toward me, it could be any of them. I do not know who I can trust, besides you, my adoring readership.
I’m writing this to warn you, if something happens to me, don’t believe what they tell you. In fact, don’t believe anything that doesn’t directly originate from myself.
If you see anything suspicious, contact me directly.