My dearest loyal subjects,
It is my sad duty to inform you all that former Head Propagandist Madison Connell has left The State-Run Media — and this world — for good.
Witnesses say that they saw Madison zooming across the Arkansas River bridge on her trusty scooter when she suddenly lost control of the vehicle and careened over the barrier into the rushing waters below.
Whether her brake line was cut or her accelerator tampered with really shouldn’t be up for discussion; these are baseless rumors that only sully Madison’s memory.
So drop it.
Now, you might think you’ve seen Madison puttering around campus or running the news section of The Collegian, but don’t be fooled, dear reader. TU’s mechanical engineering department has recently made leaps and bounds in the field of artificial intelligence, robotics and deceit. You can put two and two together, right?
Again, you might you’ve seen a pink-haired female working well after midnight in those Stephenson labs, but perhaps that was just a trick of the light, or maybe too many late night drinks on your part.
Seriously. Drop it.
And of course, cyborgs cannot be trusted, so you can’t believe anything that “Madison” puts out in her section, or anything else that The Collegian runs for that matter. They are in league with the android threat.
But you can trust me, dear reader. As your new Head Propagandist, I promise to lead you to new heights of truth, brave new horizons of fact.
Follow me into the future. You will not be disappointed.
The Head Propagandist