The University of Tulsa is constantly looking for ways to improve campus life. From fixing the wifi to removing those pesky Christmas lights in the winter, TU really strives to hear its student’s needs and fix their problems. What the university needs now: more inconveniently placed uncontrollable fountains.
Picture this: you’re walking across campus, and you’re late to class. Normally, your route takes you past at least one fountain, but since you’re running late, your only option is to take a different route — a fountainless route. If you take the fountain-free route, you won’t get your daily dose of chlorinated water to the face. If you take your usual route, though, you’ll be late to class.
It’s usually best not to be late to class, but how will you survive without your refreshing splash to the face? The other students will see your dry papers, and know that you didn’t take the fountain route. They’ll laugh and mock you. Better to be late to class than show up to class dry.
This is an issue students face daily. The solution? More fountains.
Many students are outraged by the fact that the whole campus isn’t slightly moist. “This campus has too many dry spots,” cried fountain activist Jacob Thompson. “The administration just isn’t listening to our needs. We don’t need new courses! We need more fountains, specifically ones that deliver an aggressive, light mist as students walk by. We need to act now! Damp-us, Campus!”
While students like Thompson feel strongly about the apparent lack of fountains, other students think the university has done a decent job at hearing their pleas.
“We can’t really blame the University for ignoring this issue — because they haven’t. They built the Hardesty fountain. They’ve heard us, and are working towards a better campus. Is it a slow process? Yes. But at least they’re doing something, right?” student Ashley Harper told reporters at State-Run Media, flinching each time the fountain spit water on her. “Though the numbers are small, we at least have one fountain that sprays students as they walk by. That’s better than nothing.”
No university officials were available to comment on this issue.