This depiction of “Dear Evan Hansen” is a little weird to me, but who am I to complain? graphic by Anna Johns

My fraternity is morally (but also financially) bankrupt

Dad, if you are reading, please send money.

Listen, I know. Fraternities are tools for status quo maintenance by maintaining generational wealth through “networking” which is shorthand for nepotistic cronyism. Not to mention, the “brotherhood” is mainly a function of trauma bonding with the intent of conformity, forcing men into the mold that is toxic masculinity. That being said, we spent all our money on beer and expensive hazing activities—and the subsequent medical bills and legal fees—so we really need your financial support. Love you dad. I hope your corporate lawyer stuff is going well.

I want to address the elephant in the room. Yes, interpersonal violence and sexual assault are absolutely a problem on college campuses, especially in Greek life circles. Fraternities allow—and even encourage—an environment in which the safety of women is put at risk. This culture created by fraternities is explicitly and intentionally designed to provide elite men with a space in which they can do whatever they want with no consequences. Both fraternity and university leadership distance themselves from this because they know it occurs and do not want to be liable, resulting in a kind of “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy but for sexual assault. Both groups are more likely to throw money at silencing victims than taking steps to prevent it from happening. Keeping that in mind, please, just one more party Dad. I know you sent me 10 grand last week. I promise I’ll do better at financial planning.

Another major issue with fraternities—and Greek life in general—is of course the lack of diversity. Many Greek life organizations even get away with flat out discriminatory practices in rush week. Whether it is sororities using a whitewashed beauty standard for Rush week, or both fraternities and sororities using the loaded term “professionalism,” to the same end. In some cases, it is more explicit, such as the extreme incident at OU, or in KA’s “spiritual founder,” Robert E. Lee. You want proof of racism in Greek life? Try to look at any group photo for a Greek life organization without thinking “Wow, that’s a lot of Mike Pences and Amy Coney Barretts but if she was blond. Wait, is that just Kyrsten Sinema? What was I talking about?” On a related note, I spent 8,000 dollars on some weed blondies—bro, imagine bomb ass weed brownies, but vanilla—while drunk and I only received a library cafe brownie and a bag of oregano. Please Venmo me, I am having a bad week. I was only partying 6 out of the last 7 days.

I want to believe that there are good people in TU’s administration and Greek life leadership who will act in order to make women safer and minorities more included, but honestly, we might be better off getting rid of Greek life entirely and replacing it with something better and more inclusive. The draw of Greek life is community in an increasingly lonely and socially fragmented existence but surely, we can achieve this without sacrificing the safety and well-being of half the campus. Also, abolishing Greek life would mean I wouldn’t have to pay dues and could instead spend that money on white claws. It’s a win-win for everyone.

Post Author: Kyle Garrison