Oklahoma’s mother finds state’s failing report card

Oklahoma spends a lot of money and time on incarceration and road work, but one thing that could definitely use some of that attention is education.

With last week’s Impact Tulsa report shedding light on Oklahoma’s failing educational system, the state is having a hard time ignoring the problem.

“I just can’t believe they would try and hide this from me!” said Oklahoma’s mother, holding up the failing report card released from the State Department of Education earlier this year, which she reports she found stuffed under the state’s bed alongside mismatched socks and old shoes.

The 148 year-old woman sought out the State-Run Media to report on the issue, hoping the pressure of the media would prompt her child to try a little harder in school.

Oklahoma’s mother reportedly found the report card when she was cleaning the state’s room, and confronted them immediately.

The state made excuses for its poor academic performance, claiming it’s been “too busy to focus on school right now,” and that there are “better things to do,” like “arrest [a disproportionate amount of] women and minor drug offenders, and build prisons to hold them all.”

Oklahoma’s mother says she doesn’t believe her child’s claims, reporting that the state has recently been skipping a lot of class.
“Every county in the state has an overall low score!” she told State-Run reporters. “I mean, how does that reflect on me as a parent?”

She shook her head, telling reporters her greatest fear is that Oklahoma will become like Texas, whose educational system is the laughing stock of her Bingo group.

“I just don’t get it,” the state’s mother lamented to reporters. “Oklahoma is a good state, but… they just don’t apply themselves. If only they’d realize how important their education is to their future! To the nation’s future!”

Oklahoma could not be reached for comment, but surrounding states agree that Oklahoma’s failing grades are a problem for the entire area.

Post Author: tucollegian

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