Phyllis Schlafly backs Bernie Sanders just to be contrary

In response to feminist icon Gloria Steinem’s recent show of support for Hillary Clinton, notable anti-feminist Phyllis Schlafly found herself reflexively supporting Bernie Sanders in the Democratic Primary.

“We’re really not sure how it happened,” an aide to Schlafly told State-Run reporters. “The day she heard that Steinem was supporting Clinton, Phyllis bought a ‘Feel the Bern’ t-shirt and donated exactly $27 to the Sanders campaign.”

Schlafly, who opposed feminist reform during the 1970s and ensured that the Equal Rights Amendment was never ratified, said that she’s acting completely on instinct. “You know, whenever the equal rights activists would do something back in the day, we just had to do the opposite. Once I saw Germaine Greer drink a Coke, and you better believe that I’ve been a Pepsi girl ever since.”

Steinem’s most recent show of support for Clinton came when she said that young women supported Sanders largely to meet young men. This statement was largely decried as sexist, and Steinem issued a quasi-apology on her Facebook page, saying that she “misspoke” and that her words were “misinterpreted.”

Meanwhile, Schlafly has been enjoying her increased notoriety with younger people. “The other day, a nice young man told me that he thought my Bernie pin was ‘dope’ and that it was nice that I ‘got it.’ I used to think that Senator Sanders was just another communist, but after seeing the way young people react to him, I think that supporting him might help me convince some of these ‘millenials’ that all of this ‘equal rights’ nonsense is bunk.”

At press time, Schlafly was sitting in Bayless Plaza, wearing a #FeelTheBern pin next to her customary Stop ERA pin, and harassing young people about their student loans.

Post Author: tucollegian

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