By Anna Bennet
With Halloween quickly approaching, a few of you more popular individuals may start to get invitations to costume parties. You can blame the government shutdown all you want, but at the end of the day, either you are too poor or too lazy to go out and buy a well-made, fun costume.
Never fear, in the age of Pinterest, anyone can make a terrible costume out of things lying around a dorm or apartment. Remember, cleverness and cleavage is worth more than construction!
1. Wear lingerie and animal ears (“I’m a mouse! Duh!”). This goes for men and women alike. The ears don’t have to be good or even recognizable.
2. Be a clever pop culture visual pun: pin gray paint swatches to your shirt (“Fifty Shades of Grey,” get it?); wear an old computer monitor over your head and sing loudly (Adele, get it?).
3. Dress up as a nudist.
4. Bad visual puns are even better when you have friends to help you out! You and a buddy could dress up as a “Rock and a Hard Place,” then have people stand between you. Or one of you could be Piss, and the other could be Vinegar.
5. Switch clothes with a friend and go as them. It doesn’t matter if you shop at the same store, it’s the thought that counts.
6. Turn your least sexy clothing into something sexy. Basically, just cut away 80 percent of the fabric. Suddenly, you go from graduating senior to “Sexy Graduate.” Or go from standard-issue scrubs to “Sexy Nurse.” That’s how it works, right?
7. Write something clever in sharpie on a t-shirt. Simply declare yourself to be something (“witch,” “ghost,” “librarian,” “janitor”) and through the power of language and stupidity, that gesture will be sufficient and thought-provoking. This is a great way to start discussions on perception and readership theory.
8. Turn all those empty toilet paper tubes into something with little effort, like a Bach wig or an oversized ammunition clip. All you need is a little spray paint, and willingness to be a heavily armed Johann Sebastian Bach.
9. Cut armholes and a neck opening in a paper grocery bag. Cut the bottom up to look all fringy. Boom, flapper.
10. Just wear your normal clothes. When someone cute asks you what you’re supposed to be, simply reply, “your future boyfriend/girlfriend.”