By Anna Bennett
If this applies to you, then I know you won’t want to talk about it. But a big part of growing up is putting on a pair of pants and facing reality.
If you’ve been so immersed in classes, parties, romance, substance abuse and existential crises that you may not remember that you are a senior, here are the signs that your time of reckoning is coming.
1. Selected Dyslexia. “Required” begins to look exactly like “optional” on paper.
2. All the scary grownups are asking you what you’re planning to “do” with your degree—besides get it—which is all you ever planned on.
3. Morning deafness. Many days, you may literally not hear your alarm going off.
4. Morning coma. You hear your alarm go off, and it continues to go off for perhaps an hour and a half, but you are physically unable to do anything about it.
5. The Pajama Game. You progressively start replacing articles of clothing with their sleepwear counterparts when going to class. Sweatpants are first. A bathrobe is the final step.
6. Uncontrollable and unprovoked crying.
7. Your filter needs replacing. You may find yourself swearing or talking about masturbation with a professor within earshot.
8. Several of your classmates and professors keep bothering you about this mysterious “project” you’re apparently responsible for.
9. You judge a piece of furniture on a scale of how quickly you could fall asleep on it.
10. When you try to conceptualize the “future,” you find yourself staring into a great wide void of terror and nothingness.