The Collegian team views and reviews a movie while getting uproariously drunk.
Note: All participants in the production of this article are either of legal drinking age or did not consume alcohol. Disparity in coherent prose should make as much evident.
Piper: Corporate america is ruining my life and i think that “Boss Baby” understands this so in some ways this might be a good movie but i couldn’t tell where it went so maybe not. I don’t understand why alec baldwin is in this.
“Boss Baby” is working really hard in that i don’t understand what happened. Elvis was featured more prominently than i expected and so did puppies so im not really sure what that means but it seems like theres something there that its a little out of my reach.
Presbyterians can be colonists too, zach. Girl boss baby … really makes you think
Kids can’t like this they dont know what severance package is. If we’re being honest i am not sure i do either. Maybe this is why i didn’t like the movie.
Hans zimmer did the soundtrack?????? Hans, you did “Dunkirk.” Girl youre better than this.
The moral of this story is that business majors dont deserve rights.
Zach: This is one of the best movies I have ever seen. It has all the elements of a good movie: Elvis, Alec Baldwin, jokes that are not funny, an end scene that reminds me of recent pictures of the military of the
Democratic People’s Republic of Korea, and abortion commentary, Maybe even something about the declining birth rates among millennials too. Great movie. It’s not even over yet. They are spraying the baby with milk and promoting him.
Maybe the baby is dead. He’s “unborn.” We almost watched “Unplanned” instead. I’m just glad he got the corner office and the private potty.
Love is not a zero-sum game. We can love babies AND puppies. There is plenty of love to go around, just like in the 60’s when the Beatles were in their prime and John Lennon was still alive. I will now tell my girlfriend that I love her because she is awesome.
Iyan: I was moved; Class commentary, comedy, opportune representations of adorable puppies … all are satisfied by this flick. The representation of Latinx identities, though, was limited to the problematic and limiting squeaky toy, whose shrill “SQUEAKER SQUEAKEN” filled me not only with dread, but also with a sense of unease. While Baldwin’s flick feigned inclusion with its sombreroed toy, #boss girl baby minor character, and queer coded final
scenes, “Boss Baby” ultimately let all my folks down. BUT… hehe, giggle giggle.
Kyle: I don’t know what happened in the movie but im pretty sure he (the boss baby, which is his christian name) died and then they lazerused his ass and brought him back. That is all i got from the movie. A heavily religious narrative.
Zach: “Boss Baby” rocks. If you haven’t seen it, then you’re anti-choice.
Justin: I don’t think an immortal puppy is bad. I do not want puppies to die. I understand the baby and boy’s concern, but love is not of a limited quantity. A parent can love both a baby and a dog. Actually the movie
just ended and maybe this is the moral of the movie, so perhaps the theme is more humanistic than I thought.
Most of the comedy in the film comes from the juxtaposition of a baby and corporate America. There are some good laughs, but I think the film falls short of making a true statement. A baby is seen as a pure human, uncorrupted by society, hilarious in comparison to the dehumanizing realm of the firm. Obviously a childrens’ film cannot be expected to offer cutting-edge social commentary, but I think a better resolution would have given the viewer more to think about.
I also do not think he was a “boss” baby per se, I did not see any of his underlings; he did not boss anyone.
Piper: He was the boss pf the only people of color so in this way it does reflect corporate america
[Editors emeritae Emily Every and Emma Palmer provide their insights as well]
Emily: I didn’t enjoy it very much 🙁 I voted for the other movie. I thought the protag was actually unbearable and made me think less of 7 year olds as a group globally.
Emma: Ugly.
