The independent student newspaper of the University of Tulsa.

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“Why did Danny leave us?”

Collegian sports editor Will Bramlett has not been handling the departure of Danny Manning well. Bramlett has spent the last week and a half crying in a back room of the Collegian office under a banner advertising the 2014 C-USA tournament, eating pizza and downing pints of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream. He reportedly would feel better if TU were to hire Bob Hoffman, the current head coach of the Mercer Bears and native Oklahoman, as our next leader.

Baseball is not real

By Will Boogert
 Copy Editor

When our Founding Fathers finally ratified the Articles of Confederation in 1781, binding the 13 signatory states together into a ragtag, amateur association with each other, they did so with the explicit understanding that the nation would exist primarily and solely for the purpose of ensuring the widespread play, from sea to shining sea, of the game of baseball.

Baseball served as the main form of diplomacy between the relatively independent states. Whenever disputes arose in the Continental Congress, representatives would split into teams along state lines, with the future of the contested legislation on the line. In addition, the statesmen would hold a yearly tournament in honor of the ratification of the Articles; the winner of this tournament won the right to nominate one player to serve as the President of the United States in Congress Assembled for one year.

Alexander “The Bank” Hamilton and Vice President Aaron “Iceman” Burr faced-off in a pitching duel on July 11, 1804 with the future of the game at stake. Hamilton believed Burr was planning to bring about a resurgence of baseball. Late in the game, Burr drilled a ball off Hamilton’s hip causing internal bleeding, leading to his death the next day. Burr may have won the gameby default, but Burr was no match for the powers that be.

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News and Notes

TU will be facing both the NCAA DI men’s and women’s basketball champions next season. The No. 7 seed Connecticut Huskies men’s team defeated the No. 8 seed Kentucky Wildcats 60–54 on April 7 in front of a record-setting 79,238 fans in AT&T Stadium in Arlington, Texas. The women’s championship game was a meeting of unbeatens. The Huskies devoured the Notre Dame Fighting Irish 79–58.

The Tulsa Oilers have brought playoff hockey back to Tulsa. The Oilers are down three games to two against the Denver Cutthroats in the first round of the CHL playoffs. The team lost game five in Denver Saturday night 1–0 despite setting a season best for shots. The Oilers return to Tulsa for a win-or-go-home game Tuesday night. Puck drop is set for 7:05 p.m. The game is a “College Night” so tickets with a TU ID start at $12 and include a large Papa John’s pizza.

The Tulsa Drillers return to Tulsa Wednesday after a trip to Corpus Christi and San Antonio to start a four-game series against the Northwest Arkansas Naturals. Fans can bring dogs Wednesday for “Bark In The Park.” Fans can purchase a 12 oz. beer or 16 oz. soda for a buck on “Thirsty Thursday.” The team will wear and auction off special jerseys Friday and Saturday for “Autism Awareness.” Following the games, there will also be a fireworks show and the first 1,500 fans will get blankets Saturday. All games start at 7:05 p.m. and tickets start at $5 for general admission lawn seats.

Baseball fans need MLB.TV

By Sarah Douglass
 Student Writer

If you are a baseball fan, you have more than likely encountered MLB’s aggravating blackout restrictions. For instance, Tulsa is in a region that is unable to access live broadcasts of Texas Rangers, Houston Astros, St. Louis Cardinals and Kansas City Royals games, which is disappointing to those who enjoy baseball and hail from Texas, Oklahoma or Missouri, like myself (go Royals!). 

It does not matter to MLB whether teams play at home or away; you can’t watch games live because Tulsa is considered to be too geographically close to teams from these states, or within “home television territories.” However, as team supporters have undoubtedly discovered by this point, most “home television” networks are not usually broadcast in Tulsa, except for when Rangers games are picked up from Fox Sports Southwest, which leaves us in the dark—hence the term “blackout.” Not very pleasant, is it?

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the bleacher creature

By Jesse Keipp
 Staff Writer

Longtime MLBer Jeff Francoeur, having signed a minor-league contract with the San Diego Padres after spring training, was relegated to the Padres’ Triple-A affiliate, the El Paso Chihuahuas. However, Francoeur has adjusted well, befriending a deaf teammate—with one minor catch. The player, pitcher Jorge Reyes, pretended to be deaf for an entire month, with the help of his teammates and even his wife. Everyone, except Francoeur, was in on the joke. 

Reyes and his conspirators convinced Francoeur that he communicated solely by reading lips and “hand signals,” some bastardized, caveman variation of sign language. The Chihuahuas documented the prank in a Youtube video appropriately named “On Jeff Ears,” playing on Francoeur’s notoriously poor observational skills. 

Photo courtesy Fox Sports. While the American flag may have burned in Atlanta, no calories were burned playing the game.

Photo courtesy the daily stache. Colon forgot that there are a bunch of really nice cameras at televised baseball games. Not even the dugout is safe anymore.

Photo courtesy The Independent. McIlroy was on a roll. 

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Drillers’ stadium vegetarian friendly

By Amy Jo Bunselmeyer
 Copy Editor

In 2010 Tulsa got a brand-new baseball stadium right in the middle of downtown. It is home to the Tulsa Drillers, the double-A affiliate team of the Colorado Rockies, and is one of only two sources of professional baseball in Oklahoma. If you’ve lived here for long, you’ve surely heard of it. Maybe you’ve even attended a game or two. What might surprise you about our little minor league baseball stadium is its number one fan: PETA.

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Football back in action


The Golden Hurricane football team has been busy the past few weeks. The team started practices the week before spring break. The team held a public scrimmage on Skelly Field Saturday in a matchup which looked promising for both the offense and defense. Freshmen running back Rowdy Simon and quarterback Ryan Rubley, the “Alpine Hammer”, had standout preformances in the scrimmage.

There are two more practices, on Tuesday and Thursday at 3:30 p.m., before the annual spring game Saturday at 2 p.m. The game, at H.A. Chapman Stadium, is free and open to the public.

the bleacher creature

By Jesse Keipp
 Staff Writer

In a Thursday matchup at PNC Park against the Pittsburgh Pirates, the Chicago Cubs cared enough to win, but didn’t care enough to wear matching uniforms. Most of the team donned an alternate grey jersey with royal blue piping and “CUBS” in large, block letters. However, infielder Junior Lake dressed in the usual away jersey. Consequentially, the Major League Baseball organization that embraces the moniker of “Loveable Losers” lacks the professionalism of a Little League club. 

Photo courtesy of Sports Illustrated. You can’t blame this on some “curse,” but you can blame Chicagoan Barack HUSSEIN Obama. 

Photo courtesy of CBS Sports. Was Braun safe or out? You decide. This picture won’t help, but the internet exists.

Photo courtesy of USA Today. The “W” stands for “Wang.

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eye on the hurricane

Staff Report

Tulsa women’s tennis moved up in the ITA rankings to No. 19 in the nation, a single position behind in-state rival, the Oklahoma Sooners.

The team’s single match was in Louisville, Ky., against the Louisville Cardinals. In a close match, TU came away victorious over the No. 49 ranked Cardinals 4–3.

Tulsa will face a former Conference USA foe and future American rival in the No. 41 Memphis Tigers on Saturday at noon in the Case Tennis Center. This will be the team’s last match before the Conference USA tournament hosted by the Old Dominion Monarchs in Norfolk, Va., beginning April 16 and running to April 20.

Photo courtesy of Oscar Ho.

Photo courtesy of Will Bramlett. Darienne Chapman holds off an ORU player in the game Friday night. TU held a 2–0 lead late, but ORU scored in the final seconds to avoid the shutout. Erica Sampson is greeted at home following her game-tying home run against Wichita State. The Shockers failed to shock the Golden Hurricane as TU won 9–3.

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Breaking up with Danny

By Matthew Magerkurth and Collegian Staff

TU fans’ worst fear became a reality Friday as head coach Danny Manning announced the Collegian’s “Ode to Danny Manning” failed and he would be heading to Wake Forest University. Matt Magerkurth, our bard in residence, compiled a list of breakup songs from TU fans to Danny Manning. The Collegian staff added more than a few songs to the list. 

I Will Always Love You - Whitney Houston

Un-Break My Heart - Mariah Carey

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O Danny! My Danny!

By Kalen Peterson 
 Copy Editor

O Danny! My Danny! The tournament is done,

The ‘Cane has weathered every foe, the conference title’s won,

The faithful cheer; the fans I hear, the students all exalting

While follow eyes the Hurricane, the team so young and daring,

But O Heart! Heart! Heart!

O the blue and gold and red!

When off to coach—my Danny flies—

For Wake Forest instead!  

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