The Bleacher Creature

Everyone is Shaqtin’ a Fool

JaVale McGee may not be a household name, but if you’ve watched even a single episode of TNT’s Inside the NBA, there’s a good chance you know who this guy is. That’s because he is Shaquille O’Neal’s biggest target on “Shaqtin’ a Fool,” the segment where the Big Aristotle takes to ripping on the worst plays of the week.

McGee has always been talented, one of the best leapers at the center position that the game has ever seen, but his boneheaded decision-making on the court has always held him back.

Going back to his days in Washington, the Warriors center’s lowlight reel includes such classics as running back on defense when his own team had the ball, attempting an in-game free throw line dunk over two defenders and numerous botched fast breaks in which he briefly hallucinated and thought he was Magic Johnson.

Now, after years of ribbing from the TNT crew, McGee is salty as hell and has taken to calling out Shaq for unfair treatment. O’Neal has responded by getting even more vicious and personal in his attacks, and McGee’s Warriors teammates (including Kevin Durant, who continues to obnoxiously try to play the villain) have leapt to his defense and started calling out Shaq’s own inadequacies as a player.

Look, whichever side you’re on, get off it because nobody is in the right here. McGee, maybe start looking like you’ve stepped on a basketball court for once in your life and your critics will run out of material. Shaq, stop being the pouty and vindictive baby that you’ve always been and maybe lay off calling the guy an idiot and a bum.

As for you, Kevin Durant? Find a way to sound more intimidating my dude, because right now when you act tough it’s like that one guy in every high school whose friends always had to “hold him back.” You know what I’m talking about.

Huffington Boast

I love stories where people lie about their athletic accomplishments. There is nothing better than watching a person melt down as the world realizes that they’re not actually that great, all while they permanently lose their integrity and suffer way more embarrassment than they would have if they had just told the truth in the first place.

PEDs tend to be the cause of most of these stories but the really juicy ones are where an athlete just straight up lies about having done something. The latest entry in this category? Huffington Post blogger Jane Seo, who finished second in a half-marathon after mysteriously cutting her mile pace from 7 minutes and 9 seconds to 5 minutes and 25 seconds after the first ten kilometers.

Seo maintained her innocence for a while and defended her second place finish, but it later came out that she had cut the course. The best part? Her lie was uncovered by a guy who is actually famous for busting cheating roadrunners, and he caught her by enlarging a picture of her watch at the finish line. Now that’s investigative journalism!

Memetreal Canadiens

2016 showed us that memeing can be a pastime for actual adults and not just angsty teenagers, but in the process it made us forget that memes are supposed to be goofy and fun, not divisive.

In case you need a friendly reminder that there are some old-school meme-devotees out there, do yourself a favor and check out the Montreal Canadiens’ Twitter account. What you’ll find is so lame, so dank, so great.

Post Author: tucollegian

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