The Collegian’s crystal ball predictions for 2023

The Collegian team put their fortune-telling heads together and predict the coming year of sports.

Caspian Denton: NBA Finals Winner
As the 2021-2022 season concluded, the league revealed that all-star-packed teams don’t necessarily perform the greatest. This is shown by the L.A. Lakers not making it to the playoffs, along with the Brooklyn Nets getting swept in the first round of the playoffs by the Boston Celtics. One team that shined last season lacking any major NBA veterans was the Memphis Grizzlies. The Grizzlies ended their season 56-26, standing in second place in the Western Conference. Their season was cut short after losing to the then-soon-to-be champions, the Golden State Warriors, in the second round of the playoffs. For the 2022-2023 season, the Grizzlies have an excellent chance at claiming the Larry O’Brien trophy. The team is both young and fast paced. The chemistry between the players is prominent in making big plays. Upcoming NBA star, Ja Morant, point guard, has displayed his ability to take the lead when under pressure, along with overall being a dominant player regarding points, assists and rebounds. Morant paired with Desmond Bane, shooting guard, have become a menacing duo. Bane has established himself as a consistent 3-point shooter, leading Morant to frequently find him open. Having former Oklahoma City Thunder center, Steven Adams, under the basket has been a key contributor to the team’s success as well. Adams is one of the leaders in the league for offensive rebounds, giving his team many chances to score after missed shots. Although the team didn’t make it as far as they were expected to last season, the team is starting off strong. Again, currently in second place in the Western Conference, and looking to take it all the way this season.

Mary Lickona: Stanley Cup Winner
2. Stanley Cup Winner: I think Stanley will win it this year, I really do. He’s got a great chance. The Florida Cats have him running, but I think their speed and agility is nothing against his. He will leap over their defense like the alpha predator he is. I am a bit sorry to see The Pittsburgh Penguins lagging behind, as they are the only team I know, but the New York team (represent!) might just sneak up in there before being inevitable defeated. To no one’s surprise the team from Canada (what’s their name again?) will creep on up, slowly and steadily just like the tortoise that won against the hare. But the big name to fear will be the Drillers. They will eke their way up there, and it will be a battle to behold. Tune in to watch a winter sport while we wish for snow.

Zach Short: Houston Astros get caught cheating again
Houston Astros get caught cheating again: After securing an apparently clean championship after their tainted 2017 win, the Astros will get busted for cheating again. Their methods will be more nuanced, akin to those rumored in the Hans Niemann – Magnus Carlsen controversy, but they will nevertheless get busted. After this second offense, however, the MLB’s repercussions will be much more severe. The league will ask the Astros to dissolve their franchise and Tulsa will get a professional team to replace them. Not a baseball team, but something to exist in lieu of the Astros.

Kyle Garrison: Tom Brady gets arrested for tax evasion
Honestly it is a miracle that he has not already been arrested for this. Have you seen that man? There is no way he pays his taxes. There is also a good chance he will get divorced again too. I am guessing that because he is still actively playing, the IRS has overlooked his inability to pay taxes because of the revenue he produces. Once he retires however, all bets are off. My specific prediction is that he will receive a 50,000 dollar fine and two months of house arrest.

Madison Walters: Otis will reclaim the crown
Fat Bear Week made a splash this year with the news that the competition had been rigged with false votes in favor of underdog Holly. Despite all this, Katmai took home the trophy, upsetting the tournament as fan favorite Otis was projected to win. My bet is that the old man will pull through, gorge himself with some yummy fish and take home the title of fattest bear in 2023.

Post Author: Caspian Denton