The Tavern Burger: Worth the $13, definitely worth 7

The Tavern on Brady is, you guessed it, a tavern located in the Brady District, on the corner of Brady and Main. The website describes it as “a modern interpretation of the classic neighborhood pub,” and then goes on to use words like “inspired,” “seasonal” and “artisanal,” which should give you some idea of what kind of place it is.

After nine o’clock, the Tavern’s hamburger is sold at half price, and in the interest of getting cheap food journalism I enlisted an old friend and set off towards downtown.

When we got to the restaurant it became clear that we were both underdressed. No one looked at us funny or anything, it’s just that the diners were mostly late-20’s, early-30’s young professional types who tend to dress nicer. My friend and I, meanwhile, were both dressed like college students. Maybe it’s because we were there on a Friday after 9, but the place was also pretty loud. I mean loud enough that my companion and I had to speak up just to hear each other from across the table.

I’m not quite sure how to discuss the burger without dipping into the language of religious revelation. Let’s just say that it was definitely a $13 burger, and the fact that I only paid $7 for it made it taste so much better. The burger itself was fairly small, but it was complimented nicely by grilled mushrooms and a challah bun, which absorbed the juices nicely and added a nice soft texture to the entire affair.

The fries, while delicious, plentiful and garlicky, were cut into impractically thin strips. I have a feeling this was supposed to add some feeling of fanciness to the fact that I was eating a giant pile of french fries, but to be honest I just felt like there wasn’t a logical way to approach them. Was I supposed to eat them one at a time? That would have taken too long. Eating them four or five at a time got me a decent amount of fry in each bite, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that this was not a fancy enough behavior for the restaurant we were in. I ended up eating them with a fork, which in retrospect was probably the least dignified way to do it. My friend agreed that the fries were too thin, adding that they made him uncomfortable.

Finally, the bathroom decor was weird. Most of the men’s room was what you would expect a slightly-upscale restaurant to look like on the inside. However, the western wall was papered with a bizarre grid of pulpy illustrations portraying a cowboy chasing a scantily clad woman with a knife, culminating in her shooting him. The images seem to be out of order, making it hard to determine the exact progression of events. The whole thing was kind of weird and seemed out of place in an otherwise classy establishment.

On the whole, the Tavern’s half-price burger is a solid investment. But remember, if you’re gonna go, maybe dress slightly nicer than you would otherwise, and try not to spend too much time determining the progression of events on the bathroom wallpaper.

Post Author: tucollegian

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