The Weekly Yak

Call it the mid-semester blues or the yakarmic energies being strange because this week, attitudes were all over the place on TU’s designated app for gossip and arguments: Yik Yak. From an incredibly stupid and long debate about the lack of non-alcoholic drinks at frat parties (the original poster was in fact able to get a can of Dr. Pepper this past weekend!) to someone in a Spongebob costume walking around, users of Yik Yak were able to gain yet another reminder that absolutely nothing matters. Give up.

In other news, this week we all became mathematicians while trying to figure out just how much our meal plans were scamming us, with one successful economist saying, “TU is running a great business but a terrible school.” Which college are they at since they were able to crack the code? After waiting weeks for Chick-fil-A, the least this school could do is be consistent with how much they want to rip us off and give us the 12-count nuggets that we deserve.

The current monarch of Yik Yak is the one who is designing daily graphics with taglines announcing what [redacted] day it is and the events happening. They have truly become my personal highlight of the day because I tend to forget what day it is every single day, and the TU Today emails that spam our inboxes just aren’t able to make me care about the events as much as our famous graphic designer is able to. Anyways, here are the top 10 Yik Yak posts from the past week, (sadly) not including the ones that had images:

“What pike doesn’t realize is I’ve turned their hose on and left it running since 4am Saturday” – Tulsa

“Just want to offer some well-deserved kudos to the girl who entered McFarlin sobbing and proceeded to pull herself together, sit down, and crack the books a mere minute later” – Tulsa

“College is interesting because I have friends that are virgins and friends that do ketamine” – Tulsa

“Y’all I’m no longer a virgin!!! Just got [redacted] over by my biology grade. I may never recover academically.” – Tulsa

“You only get 782 chances with me I don’t tolerate [redacted]” – Tulsa

“Getting an email about spring enrollment is not what I needed today” – Tulsa

“Hope all women are having a nice day. Men… think about what you’ve done” – Tulsa

“God Save our Brave Soldiers who brave tonight’s storms (party girls and starship robots)” – Tulsa

“My class crush and I both responded to each other on the discussion board, I’m thinking a fall wedding” – Tulsa

“If you ever feel bad about yourself academically, just know the football players are doing worse (heart emoji)” – Tulsa

And here are my personal faves from the week:

“Recreating my professors in the sims and burning their mac and cheese (shy, cute emoji)” – Tulsa

“I love hearing my tuition explode” – Tulsa

“ ‘They’re taking our jobs and bringing drugs into the country’ well that’s convenient because I love drugs and I hate my job” – Tulsa

“It’s always the ugliest straight guys pestering me to be set up with my hottest girlfriends. I’m gay, not a magician” – Tulsa

“If a job hire u on the spot and say welcome to the family you bout to encounter multiple human rights violations” – Tulsa

Do you want your Yaks to be featured next week on The Collegian? Be funny. Make Hannah laugh. That rarely happens.

Post Author: Hannah Moua