This land is our land, this land is Greenland

President Trump’s Greenland tweet flexes the United States’s international muscles.

On Aug. 19, President Trump’s desire to purchase the incorrectly named Greenland was rebuffed by Danish Prime Minister Mette Frederiksen. Despite his completely reasonable request, for some reason the Danes did not agree.

Some suggested pride; after all, the U.S. tried to purchase Greenland way back in the ‘50s for a sweet $100 mil, and the Danes said no then. If they said yes now, it would be like backing down. Others suggest the price was not up to snuff. Apparently there is
some oil in those there glaciers and Greenland is worth more than Frederiksen thinks Trump is willing to pay.

Both of these are fabulous theories, but the reason is simple: the United States already owns Greenland. Even forgetting that the U.S. had a sEcReT military base on the country for a hot sec during the Cold War, the United States has been the de facto boss of Greenland, and honestly anyone else in the Atlantic (we have not forgotten about Iceland either) for a while now.

The secrets to how the deed to Greenland changed hands have been lost in the sands of time, but some postulate it was Seward, who after purchasing Alaska, still had a GIANT icicle for glaciers and kept pushing until Denmark was just tired of the naggy child and said yes. These individuals believe the proposal in the ‘50s was simply a ruse to increase property value if the U.S. ever had a debt issue. My personal belief is that the deed was simply taken from the Danes one day and the Danish people were too embarrassed to admit that they did not sell it.

For those In The Know about the Greenland Secret, Trump’s tweets about the purchase of Greenland seemed confusing, but do not worry, there is definitely an explanation for this. As Trump has shown in the past, he is not above taunting other countries to let them know that he, and by extension the United States, is better than everyone else, and there is no better way to show how much better the United States is than by showing that they definitely took control of one of Denmark’s cash cows.

Trump’s ballsiness was explained when he used this “negotiation” as an excuse to not meet with Frederiksen this week. He decided that the best way to get out of a meeting with someone he already did not want to meet with was to publicly taunt her and ignore her.
While no one can say what will happen going forward, Trump’s ballsy play has just reminded everyone of what we already know: Greenland is the United States’s, no matter what the Danes might have you believe. So do not forget about the international power play that took place on Twitter this week. It might just seem like more ridiculousness by the 24-hour media cycle, but it actually was the United States showing the world they are still the super power they were in the ‘50s.

Post Author: Hannah Robbins