Tinder Pay: for those who already use it for prostitution

Tinder creates a new pay feature, a hybrid of its current app, Uber and PayPal, where you can reimburse people for “gas.”

Ever since its fateful release on Sept. 12, 2012, Tinder has become a fallback for pleasure-seekers and romantics alike who do not want to meet people in real life. Men make up the majority in the Tinder cyberspace, yet women spend more time on the app looking for their next victim to attract with their booty pics.

Tinder users only have five hundred characters or less to explain to possible dates/hookups how they are just looking for “fun” or “partners in crime.” For some, the dating app suggests that the constant swiping is equivalent to a slot machine for sex, an addicting game for singles that features too many bathroom selfies with toothpaste residue on the mirror.

The app is also a way to simulate the feeling of “talking” to a woman and getting rejected without leaving the comforts of your room or toilet. Although Tinder is good for looking for a significant other or a fuck buddy, men still have trouble getting women to actually meet them in person.

Could it be because of the cheesy pickup lines or unwanted, frightening dick pics? Either way, men are having trouble getting to first base with the opposite sex and are walking around with blue balls even when they aren’t partaking in No Nut November. Is there any way to fix this problem?

For the men who are having trouble picking up girls on their own, there is a new app that is coming out called Tinder Pay. The app is a mashup of Uber with a twist of PayPal, where the men can pick and choose their date/hookup in their prefered mile-radius with the assurance that they will be able to go past first base.

Men already offer women money to perform sex acts on them through direct messaging, so why not do it officially through Tinder Pay? It is not considered prostitution if the man checks the box under “reason” section of the app as “reimbursement of gas” because everyone knows that is a legit excuse in this case.

Just like Uber, the user can pull up their phone, look for the nearest Tinder user of their preferred sex and hit them up for a date, hookup or pathetic rant about their ex. The app also provides information on the Tinder user that you chose, including their made-up name, fake photo and a cheesy bio that says something on the lines of “a bro who lives by whiskey and adventure” or “a girl named Courtney who loves to ride horses.”

Once you choose your desired individual, they will meet you at your preferred destination and your time will start when they arrive. Depending on what happens during your time together, the app will calculate your fare. The app also makes you feel like a great person because five percent of the fare from every date goes to a local charity of your choosing.

Depending on how the date goes, you may be able to repeat the night with the user and maybe become more than a one-night stand, but it is not a 100 percent guarantee. With the help of this app, there will be less people getting their self-esteem dropped.

Post Author: Brooke-Lyne Holland