A group from A Group of Tortured Artists tortured by art. graphic by Conner Maggio

Top 10 best secret clubs to join on campus

Number 9 will surprise you!

Here at TU, there are tons and tons of clubs and organizations to get involved in, many of which you already saw at the activities fair. But there are many clubs you may not know about. Here at the State-Run Media, we have compiled a list of the coolest 10 clubs that you may not have heard of. Here is our recommended list:

1. TU Hammock Club
Do you have a hammock? Do you like it when other people know you have a hammock? Join the club where you can kick back and relax for hours between two trees. Meetings are on nice and sunny days, usually in the trees by McFarlin or between Kendall and Hardesty.

2. John Cena Legacy Club
This is the hardest club to join, as many members have taken on John Cena’s invisibility. You can usually hear his theme song in the background when someone from this club is near. Meetings are Monday nights at 8 p.m., in order to watch WWE RAW.

3. The “Harwell Field, Right In Front Of The Tennis Court Is A Great Place To Make Out” Club or HFRIFOTTCIAGPTMO for short.
Yes. We all see you. Meetings are at Harwell for the most visibility.

4. The Secret Cat Society
The Head of the Secret Cat Society has this to say about the organization: “Meow meow, meow meow meow meow. Meow, meow, mew.”
Meetings are at McFarlin at Meow o’clock. Please bring fish.

5. The Anti-Social-Social Club
Join the club where people can be antisocial, together. Proceed to not look people in the eyes and awkwardly dance around small talk before never talking to said person again. Truth be told, I really don’t know much else about this club, but I see people with tons of these shirts on. It doesn’t really make sense for an anti-social club though. Meetings are somewhere on campus I think. They only meet once a year because, well … you know.

6. A Group of Tortured Artists
Do people not understand you? Do your friends just disappoint you? Do corporate shills demean your art because it’s too scatterbrained or too edgy? Join the Tortured Artists. They claim they are the only ones on campus left with a brain. Join other individuals who think they have any artistic talent but are really just jerks. Strive to make better and more real art. Constructive criticism has no place here. Now for a haiku of the meeting times:

Meetings for the club
Chapman Hall and Phillips too…
When they feel like it.

7. The Busking for Hearts Club
The club that enjoys playing music for people with just a simple guitar or other weird quirky instrument. Performance is key to getting better at music, so what about playing in front of other people? Remember, though, to only ever play at parties or social events so people will be amazed at how many four-chord songs you know. Want to eternally be remembered as “that person who would not stop playing ‘I’m Yours’ at a small get together”? Meetings are at your friend’s parties, and only an acoustic guitar or some quirky instrument (melodica, harmonica, accordion) is required.

8. The Engi-Neener-neeners
Are you enrolled in some form of engineering? Is your superiority complex larger than the observable universe? Do you want all the other puny colleges to know how smart you are? Then this is the club for you. Find like-minded individuals and assert your technical dominance over the rest of the colleges, because who could possibly make any money doing anything else? Meetings are in Kep, but the date and time I was given was in the form of a ridiculous math problem that I couldn’t solve in five seconds.

9. College Young Anarchists
A little bit ironic, but yes, we have an Anarchist club apparently. I couldn’t get any info about the CYA as they only screamed at me that “college is a communist system” and that “newspapers only spread fascist propaganda!” Meetings are during your classes. To join, “The Man” can’t keep you down. Uhh, join the Anarchist club, I guess?

10. The Singles Club
All the single ladies, and all the single guys! Are you looking to complain about your singleness while not actually putting forth any effort to try and remedy it? Join the Singles Club! Talk to other single individuals about how hard it is for you to get a significant other, even though you really haven’t tried very hard. Meetings are on Friday nights because it’s not like you had any plans.

Post Author: Jourdon White