TU student Margret Carter got out of a speeding ticket by having a wheelie contest with the officer who pulled her over.
Carter said she was talking to her engineering student friends when she told them about her disappointing wheelchair specs.
“It was such a disheartening moment,” said Carter’s friend and ENS student Rory Bolt. “Her wheelchair would only go three-point-five miles an hour. We knew we had to do something.”
Carter’s friends decided to pimp her ride. Their first challenge was to fix the max speed. Bolt remarked, “after we figured out how to take off the governor, it was easy. Who knew wheelchairs have a secret turbo setting?”
Sources give differing reports as to what that new max speed truly is. Bolt humbly claimed it could go up to forty-five miles an hour, while another anonymous source stated that they once saw Carter going upward of sixty down Delaware.
Her friends ignored her request to paint flames onto her wheelchair. “We’re ENS students, not art students. Why paint flames when we can just add real ones?” Bolt asked.
The concerned friends retrofitted a train horn onto the device. Before, there was a quiet, high pitched horn, which apparently was often mistaken for a mouse squeak. There is no mistaking the horn now. Sources say that students in Keplinger can hear it all the way from Mayo.
One of the final touches added by Carter’s friends was a hidden snack compartment, complete with a toaster oven.
Campus Security officer Rebecca Lawson pulled over Carter last Monday doing 40 in a 25. The two got into a heated debate about the logistics of the law. Carter reportedly argued, “Where does it say in the handbook that wheelchairs count as motor vehicles?”
Lawson also fined her for the flames, saying it clearly constituted as a fire hazard. “There are, like, literal flames coming out of it,” Lawson said.
Campus security reported that the last straw was Carter’s custom-made cup holder. “Heck, I don’t even get one of those,” Lawson mumbled.
The two made a deal. Whoever made the sickest wheelie would get their way. If Carter gets the most air time, she would get away from paying any fines; if Lawson wins, Carter has to get her boring old mouse squeak wheelchair back.
The competition happened last Friday, March 9. All the engineering students who helped pimp out the wheelchair, as well as all of the campus security officers, came to witness the showdown. “I haven’t been this excited since we got a Hurtz,” said one officer in attendance.
It was a close call, but surprisingly Lawson pulled ahead for the lead. Instead of asking for the fines being paid, however, Lawson decided to come to a compromise with Carter: so long as Carter kept below 25 miles per hour on campus, and showed Lawson her sweet wheelie techniques, she could keep her rad new vehicle. Everyone in attendance celebrated by taking the party to Hurtz, Campus Security’s treat.