Have you ever wanted to be a sexy anime girl? Now, it’s possible with the latest craze in virtual reality.
The latest internet phenomena, VRChat, allows users to don virtual reality goggles, then create a character of any likeness to chat in first-person point-of-view with other 3D-rendered characters.
The “State-Run Media” was recently let on to believe that the trend had infected this respectable university when there was word received from the culprit himself.
The third-year student, who has requested anonymity, informed “State-Run Media” yesterday of his recent self-discovery triggered using the new viral program.
“It’s pretty much ‘Second Life,’ except I can be my true ideal self: a sexy anime woman!” says the new weeb convert.
The interviewer asked him what it was about VRChat that first captured his heart.
“Y’know, I saw all this stuff about Ugandan Knuckles. I thought that it seemed really cool and very relevant to our modern understanding. Especially the real philosophical question that it presents: ‘Do you know de wey?’ So I figured, hell, I already spent eight-hundred dollars on the HTC Vive for my unmentionable activities, I might as well do something else with them too.
“Well, I hopped online on the first server I saw, and it happened to be anime-themed! I saw these very attractive animated women with deep, sexy voices, and I said, ‘Shit, I want big tits too!’”
In response to the next question about the relationships that VRChat enabled, the junior said, “Oh, beyond anything that my Tinder dates could ever give me! Being able to interact with those big, bouncy, uhh, personalities of the people I meet on VRChat is so much fun and truly deep and connective.”
He then begun clucking and laughing at his inside joke. The interviewer was left out of the mix, but it appears that the joke is among his close-knit group that they dubbed, “Asuna-chan Worshippers.”
Their avatars range from buxom purple haired females to small, red echidna. From observing his activity on VRChat, the group was comprised of entirely male users whose main usage revolved around mimicking sexual acts to each other.
The next question was related to what really drew him into watching anime and adopting Japanese culture for himself as a white, middle-class American.
“I think that what really did it was the stories,” he said “They usually revolve around voluptuous women — who are very strong and empowered by the way — and these women usually fall in love with these really cool guys with swords, and they say bad ass stuff like, ‘Onee-chan’ and ‘Arigato.’”
He stated his favorite animes are “Sword Art Online,” “High School DxD” and “Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon?”
The last question related to the acceptance of said culture and his newfound hobby by his fellow students.
“A few of them don’t quite understand and use derogatory slang to describe my activities and relationships,” he said, “but others are very accepting and ask if they can borrow my goggles for a few hours alone. I now host anime nights that are open to everyone! I buy a few bottles of Everclear and some Ramuné, mix that shit up and we watch different shows.
“I think that VRChat will have a lasting effect on my life!” he continued. “I’ve made so many relationships that are so amazing that I stay up all night on the weekends just running around online with my friends. I honestly hope my future partner likes VRChat as much as I do, because I don’t think I could have any relationship as strong as the ones I form online.”
As the interviewer was leaving, the student donned his goggles. The interviewer acted like they closed the door behind them and fell silent to gain some scientific and undisturbed observations of his VRChat behavior. As he started sliding down his pants, it was decided that it would be best to end the interview.