In 2007, Oklahoma declared watermelon to be the state vegetable. The decision was controversial to be sure, because although the watermelon belongs to the same family as vegetables such as gourds and cucumbers, historical and scientific evidence points to the conclusion that watermelon is not a vegetable.
Dr. Lanatus, an expert in the field of state symbols, recently revealed breakthroughs in his research which prove not only that watermelon is not a vegetable, but also that Oklahoma’s state fruit, the strawberry, is not a fruit. “It’s incredible,” says Lanatus, “But from my research and from the research in other fields, it would appear that none of Oklahoma’s state symbols are accurate.” Lanatus and other scientists in fields pertaining to state foods, animals and plants have only recently discovered that none of the symbols of Oklahoma are categorically accurate.
In 1893, mistletoe was named as Oklahoma’s state flower. “Through a very minimal amount of research,” says Professor Oaktree, an associate of Lanatus, “we discovered that mistletoe is actually a fungus and not a flower at all.”
Both Lanatus and Oaktree were visibly distraught at the recent discoveries. “I don’t know how we overlooked this.”
Upon further investigation, evidence suggests that watermelon may not even be food at all. Watermelons consist of about 93 percent water, which is only 7 percent away from being completely made of water, and as our sources in the scientific community confirm, water is not food. “We only found this out recently,” said Lanatus. “It’s really quite distressing since water was declared the state food.”