Kevan Buck really rocked his cosplay. graphic by Emma Palmer

Admin opens esports lounge just to play “D&D”

Admin rolls the dice with new “D&D” campaign.

The esports lounge is open! It was something the student population asked for, and lo and behold the administration delivered. But could there be another reason the administration decided to build the cutting-edge facility?

The first full week the esports lounge was open, students could hardly fit in the administrator-packed room. Over a dozen vice presidents, a handful of deans and the Provost/President herself were all there. Vice President for Finance, Operations & Administration, Corporate Secretary & Treasurer, Kevan Buck was seen at the door in a Gandalf costume.

“You … shall not … PASS,” said Buck.

Eventually a few students made their way past Buck, who was attempting to collapse the floor with his staff. Much to their surprise, they found all the administrators playing a massive game of “Dungeons and Dragons.”

Junior communications major Greta G. Amer expressed her concern.

“I mean they must have built the whole thing just to play ‘Dungeons and Dragons,’” said Amer. “They had dice and character sheets and the whole nine yards! This is supposed to be for students!”

Amer also noted the aggression between the students and faculty:

“They all got out their most intimidating swords and stood guard in the room while they chanted ‘you’ll never take us alive’ and ‘this is for cool kids only’ and ‘mom says it’s our turn with the esports lounge!’”

Other students found the administration’s enthusiasm for role-playing games to be a positive aspect of campus. “League of Legends” team captain XxNoobsbeware69xX spoke his satisfaction:

“This is awesome! Gaming can be considered a valid form of entertainment now that old people are doing it!”

The student also pointed out the potential for university cohesion:

“I mean year, it looks like there is some animosity between the admin and the amatuer gamers, but eventually I bet we can all find common ground!

The student was unable to say more and had to take his leave, citing “a need to pwn some n00bs with his smurf, no cap.”

As far as the campaign itself goes, the administration seems to be fighting a daunting dragon. This eldritch terror comes from the depths of hell itself and will prove more than a challenge for even the best “D&D” players amongst their ranks. Their campaign centers around defeating the great Bujitt Chrysus.

The Bujitt Chrysus has been a pretty famous monster across universities all around the U.S., so it’s no surprise that Tulsa picked this module up from all the options. “Curse of Strahd” is just too basic anyway.

At any rate, even if the lounge was just built for an admin-lead “Dungeons and Dragons” game, at least we can all enjoy that this is a uniquely TU problem. Like, literally, what other University would this happen at?

Post Author: Brennen Gray