Letter from the editors

The Collegian editorial staff wants to clarify our policies, particularly as they pertain to the commentary section of our publication. As per our published guidelines, available in our staff box with each issue, all opinions printed reflect the opinions of their respective authors and do not necessarily represent the opinions of anyone on The Collegian’s […]

artistic rendition by Anna Johns The silent will no longer be voiceless. The Golden Driller will no longer be penisless.

Letter to the editor: how the mighty have fallen

Art is dead, and we do ourselves no favors in erasing the last vestiges of the Renaissance. To anyone who frequently peruses The Collegian, it should be abundantly clear how depraved our society has become. The moral degradation of this nation never appears more obvious than in the vile filth present in this publication. Occasionally, […]

Waffles v. pancakes

Have just enough Bisquick to make one more meal? Here’s why it should be a batch of waffles. Myranda: Waffles versus pancakes, one of the world’s largest and oldest debates, and yet, the one with the most straightforward of answers. Hours could be spent arguing the pointless battle of which breakfast item consisting of almost […]

Shot for Shot

The Collegian team views and reviews a movie while getting uproariously drunk. Note: All participants in the production of this article are either of legal drinking age or did not consume alcohol during the review process. Disparity in coherent prose should make as much evident. Piper: I did not watch this movie but i think […]

I would’ve attached that video of the man singing the trololol song, but who am I to say? photo taken by Anna Johns. Yes, really.

‘Phantom feces’ case remains unsolved

Most fecal matter in doggie doo station on campus are from a single, unlocated northern white rhino. On Sept. 18, for the first time since its installation, the pet waste station located on the north side of Dietler Commons filled to its limit. Typically, the receptacle has its bowels emptied on a weekly basis, so […]

Shot for Shot

The Collegian team views and reviews a movie while getting uproariously drunk. Note: All participants in the production of this article are either of legal drinking age or did not consume alcohol. Disparity in coherent prose should make as much evident. Zach: Monsters university is a very silly movie. It has a lot of commentary […]

Shot for Shot

The Collegian team views and reviews a movie while getting uproariously drunk. Note: All participants in the production of this article are either of legal drinking age or did not consume alcohol. Disparity in coherent prose should make as much evident. Piper: Corporate america is ruining my life and i think that “Boss Baby” understands […]