About a month ago I went to a BDSM dungeon for the Collegian, and I hated it. But I also loved it—the actions I witnessed made me very uncomfortable, but the idea that some folks engage in loving, mutually satisfactory relationships is beautiful to me.
After that article was published, I thought it might be helpful to share some information about why BDSM is actually really great for people (who are into it). BDSM has myriad psychological effects—and when done properly (CONSENT, CONSENT, CONSENT) all of those effects are good.
Approximately one-third of Americans are into some form of BDSM—this is according to a 2005 survey by Durex (a company that makes condoms). Australian researchers conducted a study in 2008 that surveyed 20,000 Australians. They found that BDSM was not linked to any sexual difficulties and, perhaps more importantly, that men who engaged in consensual BDSM actually scored lower on a scale of psychological distress than did men who did not engage in BDSM.
In one study, researchers surveyed hundreds of folks who engaged in BDSM and hundreds of folks who did not. The people who reported engaging in BDSM tended to score higher on mental health assessment surveys than folks who did not.
Folks who participate in BDSM tend to be more open and extroverted, less neurotic and anxious, and far lower in rejection sensitivity, which refers to bad feelings caused by being rejected by another person.
This increased psychological health is primarily linked to people who engage in BDSM being more in tune with their sexual desires—which, researchers believe, makes them happier in their relationships.
People who have good, healthy sex lives tend to have higher self-esteem and greater levels of empathy. This is because these people are better at listening and communicating with their partners about their sexual needs and desires.
Basically, folks who engage in BDSM regularly are overall more psychologically healthy than folks who do not. The fact that they tend to have higher levels of pro-social attributes suggests that, on average, folks who engage in BDSM are also better community members than folks who do not, overall
BDSM requires openness, honesty, empathy and connection—which, regardless of how we feel about these sexual practices, ought to indicate to us the inherent beauty of consensual human relationships. Whether or not we are interested in participating in BDSM, we ought to be able to see the beauty in consensual, productive and loving human connection.
