Bruno Mars wins every award possible because he deserves them

The R&B singer wins a Nobel Prize, Fields Medal and the Women’s Caucus for Art Lifetime Achievement award.

In light of Bruno Mars picking up a completely deserved six Grammys last week, the world needs to know a few more recent awards Mars has received.
For example, many would argue that he was even more of a shoo-in for his 2017 Nobel Prize for physics than for his Grammy for best album. His work in constructing the perfect model of the atom equals the impact in the science community as “24K Magic” had in music.
“Honestly, I don’t think Bruno Mars even knows what an atom is,” said a representative from the Royal Swedish Academy of Scientists, “but frankly we figured we would give it to him.”
“24K Magic” shook the music world by making a very ingenious choice to be objectively bad. In comparison, Kendrick Lamar’s breakthrough album “Humble” simply accomplished too much. Not to mention “24K Magic” fit the category for Best R&B album way better than anything Kendrick Lamar has written.
Moving to “That’s What I Like,” Mars deserves the Grammys for this gem more than anything. “Despacito” held Billboard’s No. 1 spot for a measly 16 weeks, tied for the longest in history, compared to “That’s What I Like” holding it for an extraordinary one week.
“That’s What I Like” won best R&B song and song of the year. As both award the songwriting specifically, the American public cheered in agreement with Mars’s lyricism. Every heart in America melts when he sings, “Second verse for the hustlas, gangstas, bad bitches and ya ugly ass friends.”
Speaking of respectful references to women, Mars also received the Women’s Caucus for Art Lifetime Achievement Award. Mars fit the bill for this award so well, many in the Women’s Caucus for Art thought they should rename the award after him.
“He is as much of a woman and feminist as he is an R&B artist,” said a representative from the caucus. “And besides, his pro-feminized ideals were evident in his music.”
Mars makes his music videos f with women to increase their employment opportunities. He even makes sure to brag in his lyrics about how many women he has.
Last but not least, Mars will receive the 2018 Fields Medal for his work in mathematics. Given that it is only awarded every four years, this award nearly overshadows Mars’s GRAMMY night.
“We awarded him the medal prematurely because we wanted to make sure 2018 kept sucking,” said committee president Shigefumi Mori. The award will be bestowed to Mars in August.
As Mars rakes in the awards, the world can only wonder what to expect next. He may sure enough run for president, and once he is elected, the humble little people of the world can bask in his well-earned success.

Post Author: Brennen Gray