Jan. 7
4:20 a.m.
University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers were dispatched to the roof of McFarlin Library to deal with a strange smell. Nearing the roof, the officers reported hearing Pink Floyd increasing in volume. The officers found two students sitting down who looked to be fine. The officers stayed with them to make sure they were in good health for a few hours, then Ubered with them to Taco Bell, where the four of them reportedly spent “like a hundred, man.” Campus security confirmed the bill to be $120.69.
2:30 p.m.
University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers were dispatched to Hurricane Plaza, where a student reportedly had used the term “AC-AC” (AK-ək) to refer to the Allan Chapman Student Union, also known as “ACSU” (AK-stů-píd). The officers apprehended the suspect after a long chase that led into Rayzor Hall. The suspect was cuffed and taken to the University of Tulsa Penitentiary, where she awaits trial.
7:00 p.m.
While on a routine patrol, Campus Security Officers observed a mob of students huddled in front of Chapman Hall yelling about “flamethrowers” and “hyperbeams.” Upon closer inspection, the officers noticed the individuals were attempting to take down a local Pokémon gym as part of their Student Pokémon Go Club, the second largest Pokémon Go club after Campus Security Pokémon Go Club. The officers played with students for the rest of the day.
Jan. 8
1:15 a.m.
Campus Security Officers were called regarding a suspicious individual walking around Kendall Hall. Officers were dispatched to the scene, and after a thorough investigation, they found one of their own officers in the costume shop dressed in a ball gown. The officer was severely reprimanded for getting lost on his first day, and he returned the ball gown after posting pictures on the Campus Security Instagram page.
Jan. 11
12:34 p.m.
University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers were dispatched to the Bursar’s Office to investigate a larceny of $52,234. It turns out the theft was just a tuition payment.
3:45 p.m.
Campus Security Officers were called regarding an injured student. Once officers arrived at Phillips Hall, they realized that the individual had only received a paper cut. Campus Security Officers could not locate bandages, so they left the student to deal with the paper cut on their own.
Jan. 12
2:13 p.m.
After receiving information regarding a noise complaint, University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers were dispatched to Lorton Village. After investigating, Campus Security contacted the student again, who stated they were complaining that there wasn’t any noise and was hoping Campus Security would find something interesting going on because it’s so quiet all the time.
4:37 p.m.
University of Tulsa Campus Security was contacted with information that an engineering student had admitted that arts and sciences students also have a hard degree. Campus Security was so shocked, they didn’t pay any attention to anything else the student said.
11:30 p.m.
University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers were dispatched to Stephenson Hall for a student allegedly having a mental breakdown. It indeed was a code 6969, or a student having a mental breakdown. The student was issued a box of Kleenexes and was taken to his room where he could cry.
11:55 p.m.
While on a routine patrol, Campus Security Officers observed an exceptionally sober student meandering around Harwell Field just behind fraternity row. The student responded to every question he was asked, passed the horizontal line test and even mentioned how much studying he got done in one of the houses. No one was hurt in the encounter.
