President Levit’s first order: censor Cl*ncy

Although she’s only been in power a week, Levit is already making sweeping changes. It was announced two weeks ago that President Gerard Cl*ncy would be resigning from office and that Provost Janet Levit was taking over as Interim President. Now that Levit has achieved her final form of Supreme Interim Ruler (SIR for short), […]

Kevan Buck really rocked his cosplay. graphic by Emma Palmer

Admin opens esports lounge just to play “D&D”

Admin rolls the dice with new “D&D” campaign. The esports lounge is open! It was something the student population asked for, and lo and behold the administration delivered. But could there be another reason the administration decided to build the cutting-edge facility? The first full week the esports lounge was open, students could hardly fit […]

Doomsday Clock overlooks daylight savings

Drunken scientists forgot to turn the clock back an hour; turns out everything’s okay! On Jan. 23, 2020, it was announced that the Doomsday Clock, a symbol of humanity’s ever-shrinking embrace with extinction, had been moved to 100 seconds to midnight. Reporters say at the time of that announcement, millions of people across the world […]

You’ve activated his trap card! graphic by Emma Palmer

Murderer plays Trump Card, charges dropped

Hans Johnson walked free after convincing the judge to ignore witnesses. Hope came to Tulsa last week in the murder trial of Hans Johnson. Johnson, who was arrested in December after he stole a newscaster’s microphone to proclaim that “[he] definitely killed three people, why yes sir,” is currently on trial for a completely different […]

TU’s smoke signals are losing effectiveness. graphic by Emma Palmer

Signals from admin up in smoke

Honestly, only the pope should smoke. In the wake of Clancy temporarily stepping down as president of the University of Tulsa citing health concerns, the student body of the university was left in the dark. But this wasn’t on purpose. After further investigation, it became clear to me that there was an obvious miscommunication. Somehow […]

Her power only grows stronger ... graphic by Collegian staff

Letter from the Propagandist

My dearest loyal subjects (of voting age), It is my great pleasure to announce the State-Run Media’s 2020 presidential endorsement. After much careful consideration and brutal deliberation, I have decided to endorse none other than our own TU Provost, Vice President of Academic Affairs and Interim President Janet Levit for President (of the United States). […]