Local grocery chain forced to sell

For all of those foreign to the great state of Oklahoma and the immaculate seat of the gods known as Tulsa, the grocery store chain Reasor’s might call forth nothing, but to the natives of this large graveyard, Reasor’s was the place you went when Wal-Mart didn’t have what you were looking for, when you […]

Doctors worry Trump may have infected Biden during the debate, point to hot makeout session as source.

Everyone who sat through the first presidential debate last Tuesday can agree that tensions between the candidates were incredibly high. The two men bit and tore into each other like animals, interrupting, name-calling and turning the debate into more of a cat fight than a serious discussion of policy. Of course, with the recent diagnosis […]

Who’s that new student on campus?

We all know that the University of Tulsa’s budget leaves much to be desired. The major well of wealth for the university, wealthy foreign students who do not benefit from scholarships and financial aid, has dried up, and now the administration and board must search for alternative sources of funding or new groups of students […]

Courtesy of TU Collegian, Ms. Emily Every

The Game is afoot at TU, and the stakes are high!

“Levit, lead pipe, Lorton.” “Which Lorton?” “Uhh, Lorton Hall.” “Oh please. Cease your endless nattering and look at this.” A shuffling of papers, individuals peeking at important and frustrating alibis, weapons and locations — these were the noises of a criminal investigation, though these sleuths held no formal training and no real office. However, the […]

Courtesy of Getty Images

Waving flags for a different reason

Have you ever wanted to argue with a stranger? Perhaps one of your neighbors is attempting to call down the ghost of Nero with their enlightened debauchery, or smoking enough ganja to emulate the great witches’ cauldrons of the past, but how does one communicate these feelings of anger and rage without knowing their phone […]

Doom Over You: A Very Scary Welcome Back to TU

As the final seconds of Janet Levit’s extraordinarily strange welcome back video played out, the students who had viewed the video, whether due to a sense of duty, curiosity or fear, continued to stare at the screen in horror. Though the video seemed like the standard university propaganda, the surreal image of their interim president, […]

Is This America?

Hello, I’m an alien visiting from the far past and far future. Time is merely a construct, eh? Anyways, I’m only 192 years old, so I’m in the middle of what you mortals call “high school,” I believe. I’m taking a universal history course, and we have to do a project about a specific location […]

Temperature Screening: A Self-Insert Fanfiction

I bolt awake, ripping the covers away from me as my alarm shrieks in my ear. I need to stop sleeping with my phone under my pillow; while it is easy to grasp in those blurry first moments of a new day, it’s nearly impossible to avoid going deaf with each snooze. Stumbling onto the […]

Things aren’t looking up. graphic by Emma Palmer

Megachurch pastor worries for Jesus’ pocketbook

Osteen is concerned congregation won’t empty their pockets for God. When Lakewood Church closed its doors to the public in mid-March amid growing concerns over COVID-19, it was anyone’s guess as to when the congregation could return to a physical service. Online streaming options replaced the in-person sermons, so Pastor Joel Osteen can still get […]