Chris Brown finally arrested for crime we’re comfortable condemning

Singer Chris Brown was recently arrested under suspicion of assault with a deadly weapon. Reports say that Brown pulled a gun on a woman at his house, threatening her and telling her to leave. Though Brown himself may not be enjoying the judicial process, it seems the nation has collectively breathed a sigh of relief. After years of debate and awkwardness surrounding his domestic abuse situation with Rihanna, Brown has finally managed to commit a crime everyone agrees isn’t okay.

TMZ was the first to latch onto Brown’s case, saying “if you didn’t HATE Chris Brown before, the time is N O W !!!” The report featured a blurry photo of Chris Brown in a hoodie to confirm his final descent into the ranks of villainy.
It seems that TMZ’s words rang true with a lot of people, as the internet was finally ready to condemn Brown. Hashtags like #BrownIsDown and #LookAtMeNowImGettingBailMoney have been trending since the incident, as well as memes pasting Brown’s face onto famous movie criminals.

Some feel these memes have helped them deal with a topic they’ve felt uncomfortable about for years. TU student Alan Redd felt relieved after hearing the news, saying “I always feel weird about calling people out for problems with their significant other, but when you pull a gun on random girls it’s time to say ‘come on, dude.’”

Others has been waiting for this opportunity to strike, angry at Brown for years. Women’s and Gender Studies professor Alexandra Firma is very happy that “Brown’s crimes against women have finally gotten him in trouble with the people, and I’ve had a folder of applicable gifs ready on my desktop since 2010.”

Brown’s lawyer, David Bare, recently told reporters in a press release to “hold their dissent” and points out that “the public has set a consistent precedent that my client sees no significant punishment for this type of action, therefore attempting to achieve a different result in this specific situation is a fallacy.”

If there has been one silver lining for Chris Brown in the wake of all the hatred, it’s that his album sales are through the roof. Some fans are glad that this controversy has come forward, prompting “Proud with Brown” chants at hip-hop and R&B concerts across the nation. Brown’s haters, meanwhile, have gone back to the age-old practice of listening to his single “Fine China” ironically.

Post Author: tucollegian

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