Ghost complains millennials too self-absorbed, “impossible to scare”

A local TU ghost is starting a campaign aimed at creating jobs for him and his ghost-brethren within the local community.

The movement, which brands itself on social media with #ghostafterlivesmatter, began when one ghost realized millennials are far too focused on electronics to waste their precious time being scared by a ghost.

“They spend all their time looking at their phones. You can form out of thin air right next to them, screaming as loudly as the day you died, and they’ll just turn up the sound in their headphones, not even giving us the respect of acting scared,” the spectre moaned in an impromptu interview with the State-Run Media.

The reporter mentioned that the ghost said some other stuff too, but a new Twitter follower notification popped up on his smartphone, so he missed what the ghost said.

As of press time, ghosts were rescheduling their meeting to 100 feet over the McFarlin Library, as when they tried to hold their meeting on the ground, students repeatedly interrupted by walking through the ghosts in order to have a slightly shorter path to class.

Post Author: tucollegian

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