Hardesty Hall, TU’s monument to conformity

As you approach the terrifying ridged edifice of Hardesty Hall, a sense of dread crawls over you. Its harsh right angles and towering size press down upon you. The same dusty sandstone you find all over campus shouts at you “Conform! Conform!” And as you walk through the gaping archway that cleaves the building, you know you will.

Some might fool themselves and hold on to the cyclonic water feature in the courtyard as some redeeming speck of eccentricity in an otherwise boring design, but it is not. Like peanut butter in the center of a steel beartrap, the feature deceptively lures us into accepting Their brand. We are one of collective, the legion, the Hurricane, it whispers with stale seduction. Join us, be one of us.

The inside of Hardesty has been carefully constructed to serve its masters’ purposes as well. Large airy halls remind us of the vacuous nature of our existence. Logically placed stairs enforce the programmatic thinking They have been coding into us for years. Identically sized and furnished rooms disallow creativity and enforce conformity.

Graphic by Elias Brinkman

Graphic by Elias Brinkman

There is no element of discovery in Hardesty. No interesting nooks or crannies or hidden hallways to reward the curious. The design never encourages us to explore, to look for new details. Its halls are the wide empty halls of an obtuse mind, not the narrow twisting corridors of a mind sharp with wit and craft.

Such a unified and malevolent design threatens to overwhelm us, but there is hope. The attentive student will recognize the small victories of the true geniuses. Somewhere one or two brave souls snuck into the design team and left behind small challenges for the brave to discover.

Those hidden heroes turned the Administration’s evil plan to snatch away our control into a victory. They undermined the Administration’s plan to control the temperature by implementing motion sensor controls. Thanks to the rebels’ daring plan, the temperature in the rooms will now change if no movement has been detected for a certain amount of time. And by installing finicky sensors, they have encouraged students to discover or create ways to take back control.

Those challengers also left us a warning on the third floor. In the kitchen you will find doors with armed alarms. They will sound if any student tries to enter the sanctum of Administration, but remain silent if our Masters choose to walk our halls. The Masters are always watching, the warning reads, you can not escape from them in this building.

Another warning is left to us in the shape of porthole-like lights that illuminate the rooms. They stare down into the room, observing our every movement, judging us, reminding us that nowhere is safe from the Master’s mind numbing program of conformity. We see you, they seem to say, see all that you have done and the Masters shall be displeased.

The whole building has been engineered, it is clear to see, by the Masters and Administration to create members of its legion. They mean to create perfect little TU graduates populating the world and spreading their influence over the globe. The Masters have begun to operate much more openly by building this new factory so close to their headquarters in Keplinger.

If you seek enlightenment do not go to Hardesty, there are only monsters there. Wait in the cave for the ones who have seen the true nature of reality to find you. Wait in the cave that the Masters fear to approach. Wait in Kendall. It is your only hope.

Post Author: tucollegian

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