Heartwarming! Iranian student given extended family vacation

In an unexpected twist, a University of Tulsa student was granted an extended vacation by executive order of the Trump administration. Amir Rahbar was returning from visiting family in Iran when he was stopped by US officers at the airport. After looking over his documentation, the officials told Amir that he would have to return to Iran.

“It was great!” Amir told the State-Run via an encrypted call. “They paid for the flight back and everything. I was all like, ‘Man, I’ll have to get back into this school thing’, but then I got another week off with my family. Who knows, if Trump really is as crazy as people say, I may even get to stay here another week!”

In an official response, the University of Tulsa clarified that they would still be charging tuition to students not in the country. “If people can’t be bothered to get up out of their beds, cross international borders, and find a seat to their 8 AM on time, that’s not our problem.” President Clancy stated in the announcement. “They should have thought about that before trying to get a higher education.”

Before the interview ended, Amir let us know that if the executive order ever inconvenienced him in the slightest way, his feelings on it would immediately turn to utter disgust. “It’s really an all or nothing thing, my feelings towards laws and regulations is just that whatever makes me happiest in this particular instance should be the law of the land.”

In response to the executive order, the State-Run staff is packing up for an extended stay at a beach resort in some foreign destination. If there’s no newspaper next week, know that we succeeded.

Post Author: tucollegian

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